A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do I have a right to be angry?I fell out with a girl who started dated a guy who was once after me. Me and this guy never really got past first base - although I would've liked to - but just wasn't pushy enough like her.To cut a long story short - this girl is now bragging about her affair with him and posting pictures of them both all over Instagram, FB etc as she knows it's gonna annoy me (as we don't get along).I try to ignore her. But its hard not to see and chat to friends who knows her and the pain of loss is still there. How do I stop being angry about it and get over this hurt? She is purposely trying to annoy me and I just want to forget about them both.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2015):
 Do you know for a fact that this woman is posting on purpose just to annoy you ?? How do you know it ?
I mean, why has it have to be about you. This is a girl who, from her point of view, has made a comquest, has got the man that she wanted, and is HAPPY about it. So she is flaunting it a bit- very normal. She is just sharing with whomever may be concerned her joy and elation and satisfaction. Not surprising in this era of global communication when people enthuses over the tasty spaghetti marinara they had for dinner and actually takes pics of it. Imagine if you get yourself a tasty boy. Makes sense.
You can choose to NOT be among those who are concerned about it, and not to feed your jealousy and anger by checking this woman's social media pages. Ignore her, and her postings. I am not saying that if you do that your negative feelings will disappear at once just like by magic, but at least they won't keep simmering and festering all the time.
It also sounds like you are mad at the girl for snatching your catch from below your nose, and at yourself for not taking the opportunity.
But I think this is a partial vision of things- because it leaves out the guy almost totally.
I mean, what is he , stupid ? A log , a piece of furniture, that whoemeber is the fastest, the more aggressive , the more determined, takes him away ?
Does he not have tastes and preferences and plans and wishes ?...
I find it hard to consider him just like a bone between two digs... and the faster dog made away with it.
No offence, but maybe if this guy only kissed you and dd more with the other, well, maybe it was his precise choice. He liked you a little, enough to make out a few times,... and he liked her MORE, enough to date her and make her girlfriend. I am not saying that he chose right ; but, he chose, try to respect that.
Either this, or he IS really a dumb piece of meat who will take any girl as long as she is sexually proactive or " pushy " enough. In this case, you would really have not missed out much....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015): OP here. Sorry WiseowlE - it should say she's 'dating' not dated - they're still together & you're right - it is more about me snoozing & losing - I never seem to take these opportunities & always get cold feet. Not sure why.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (5 September 2015):
 Be apart of the solution and not the problem- Don't be checking up on social sites linked to either of them. Out of sight ,eventually out of mind. If they are in a relationship then thats what people do, share it on Facebook etc. You are feeding your own insecurities by thinking that she has you specifically in mind when she does it. It takes two people to make the effort of making it past first base so if he was that interested he would of made that happen so you shouldn't be putting your loss down to her pushiness. Move on or switch off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015): Your age is posted above your post to be between 26 and 29.
You're supposed to be mature enough to be past such adolescent nonsense. Upset about a guy you never even dated, or had any sort of relationship with?
Seriously, girlfriend?!!
She may gloat about having sex with him; but sounds like she got played to me. He's not her boyfriend. If he's single, he's still available. If he was really that into you; wouldn't he have made more effort to connect with you?
Could she have even stopped what was meant to be? She may have run interference, but that's all she did.
If you snooze you lose. Don't fault her for grabbing the opportunity, because you were too slow to act. I don't think the guy has much going on for either of you, apart from the possibility of sex.
Move on. This is too small for you to be wasting so much energy and emotion on it. She says she got some. Did she also post pictures of them having sex? So what if they did?
Nothing came of it. She threw herself at him, posted some pictures, and that means exactly what?
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