A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i were together for around 3 years and 9 months,before we broke up last thursday. The reason for the break up wasnt one,but yes i could pin point what the biggest obstacle was. I could never stand up for her,i promised her that i would drop by het house which is next town whenever i would pass by,but i was hestitant to ask my parents for reasons which even i can't figure out even though my mother knew. And we had starting havingvarguments and feeling awful quite frequently. Also a few months back she was going through a low and she cried to me on the phone and i,instead of being there,told her i was sleepy and i hung up. So all these incidents have broken her,we had minor break ups before over the issue of standing up and i promised her that i'd never happen again. But i failed. At the same time we spent wonderful years together,shared really special moments. I was her first and so was she mine. I love her truly...i've sat down and analyzed the relation and really want her back,to give me a last chance to set things right. And i'm sure i want to get back,it's not a no brainer post a breakup. She told me she can't trust me again,she doesnt have it in her to go on anymore and break again. I really tried telling her that i wouldn't repeat those mistakes but she said she's never coming back ever again. She still loves me and texted me and had a few calls post breakup cause she knows i can't live without her. She said last night that it would be her last texts ever. And sincr then there's no reply to my calls or texts. I'm truly guilty for losing a gem like her and reallt want to make it up to her. But at the same time i know her reaction is very justified and normal. I dearly love her and she knows my feelings are honest but scared i'll break her yet again. What can i do in such a situation. I really want to get back with her. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice and thoughts on my situation. This morning she texted me and said no matter what if i make her cry or i make her smile,she can't leave. She said she does want to leave my life but the time we spent together is holding her back. We've had everything between us.....including a physical relationship. And now she's all happy and how she would be...we're talking now and she says that she's still not back with me....she loves me and can't leave but still hasnt got full assurance....i told her to take as much time as she needs to start believing again.....and i've made positive changes and i've promised her to grow to be a better person and partner to her. And she said if i fail,i'd have no right to ask her again. I agreed. So all in all,i'm en route to getting back the love of my life. And i'm not going to mess up again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014): Greetings,
Leave her alone.
If she likes you,she will come back,else its the end of your relationship.
You broked trust and how could u wish to correct yourself at the last minute!
You were not intrested in your love at early days and see this is what it happens.
Let her go now is the best choice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe texted me sometime back saying she loves me and misses me. I told her how sorry i was and that i love her. She sent me snapshots of her chat with a friend who's told her to give me a chance since i truly love her. And then she asked me about my health...i told her i'd thrown up bile and she panicked and told me to go the hospital. I already took medicines. And now i dont understand why she said she should have never come to my life and said sorry and hasnt replied to my calls and messages. Isnt it evident that her absence has broken me? So why is she taking the opposite meaning?
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A
male
reader, Malcontent  +, writes (19 June 2014):
You might have to just let her go. Trust is the most difficult intangible to repair in a relationship. Once it has been broken, it is nigh-on impossible to replace. And even then, it definitely will never be the same.
She doesn't see you as the same person she fell in love with before. In her eyes, you've changed, because of the broken trust. Hence why she doesn't want to go through it all again, and the pain of it because of "one last chance."
You may be genuine - and I wish that it would work for you - but if she's said no even once, then it's clear that you need to give her space, distance yourself from her, and find someone else. Likewise for her, but I feel that she will want some time to recuperate from this relationship.
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