A
female
age
30-35,
*issMe.x
writes:how can i persuade him to come home My boyfriend and i have been together for alomost a year now but hes taken a job oppertunity in the states for 8 months. weve been through so much together and it was so hard for me to watch him go. i miss him so much, we still talk everyday and are still technically together but its so hard. hes sharing an apartment with 2 room mates and says he likes it he just needs to settle in. Hes been there for about a month now but sadly his aunt passed away a couple of days ago and he wasnt here to say goodbye. he says he wants to come home to be with his family right now but he has this oppertunity and needs to make the most of it. i dont know what to advise him to do. i want him to come home but for selfish reasons i love him so much. what could i say that would make him come back to me. please help! x
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 The decision is completely his own. It's his career, relationship and family. You have to stand by and let him do what his heart and head tells him to do. A decision that big is something that he needs to be respondible for, whether it's a good or a bad one. If he comes home because you begged him, and regrets it, it could hurt your relationship. If he comes home because he wants to and regrets, he has only himself to blame. People need to be respondible for their own life chagnes. Let him factor you in along with the other things going on in his life. And remember, your relationship can last forever if you are strong enough, but a job opportunity is temporary and only comes once each time.
I think Emily knows I'm an Army wife too. He was deployed for 12 months. He came back to the states two months ago but still isn't home with me. It's hard, but it's a strong, lasting relationship and nothing can stop us.
Take care! Do what's best for him, not you.
~sy
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 March 2010):
As an army wife, let me tell you that you can get through this and you'll be so so so much stronger for it.
My husband went off for 6 months and when he came back, knowing that we were strong enough to get through it made him head straight out to buy an engagement ring.
If you bring him home he may resent you for it forever.
You just need to get out and fill every day of the week with something.
See your friends, take a night course, join a yoga club, write a book, start knitting scarves and sell them in the autumn, get a weekend job.
If you find yourself going "Oh GOD how is it Friday already?" then you will see the months fly by. If you sit by the phone and computer waiting for him to call / come online then you will find it unbearable.
You can do this, and he will love you so much more for it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 If you have very strong and valid reasons for him to come back to you. Otherwise , it is very difficult for him to heed your call.
You may have to bear with it until fate decides for him.Have you thought of going over there ?
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