A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I got a nice one for you.. I never thought i find myself catching feelings with someone online, but i have. 4 years ago i friended a beautiful lady on FB. We pretty much hit it off as we have the same music interests, food, politics, and so on. However, she's married and i'll get back to that.The problem i am and have been having is that she goes through these time zones where she wont say anything to me. I can send her a message and she wont reply. But she'll like a picture that i posted. This can go on for weeks and then out of the blue, we're back on talking terms again. It got so bad that last year i unfriended her because she didn't say anything for almost 2 months that i just gave up. About a week after she starts liking my instagram pics and commenting. I took that as a sign that she didn't want to lose the friendship so i friended her back and told her i unfriended her because i wanted her all to myself and knew that couldnt happen. she laughed and we were back on good terms again.Now to the part about her husbandShe says she is married but it looks so phony. When she posts pics with him they are never embraced, never kissing, never holding hands, nothing that you would normally see on a married woman's page. You would think they're siblings. On top of that while her status says married, his status says "in a domestic partnership". so that whole thing is a mess.She lets me flirt with her. One time i told her that if i ever got to see her the first thing i would do is bite her in the ass, she reacted with a "lmao" and a few happy faces. This is the type of friendship we have. But now she is doing it again.. the apathetic behavior is coming back. It's like i dont exist again and it's very frustrating because she is just an online friend but we sometimes carry on like something more and that's where it gets confusing.If i unfriend her again i might make it for good. i know this is just facebook but there is another human on the other side. Any suggestions?
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facebook, flirt, kissing, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (15 October 2019):
 I’m not here to give sympathy for a post like this, it’s childish and not to mention potentially intruding on someone’s marriage, you need a reality check not a shoulder to cry on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionN91 i can see how they made you an Agony Aunt youre so sympathetic.
But just so you know, since i joined Facebook 6 yrs ago i've hooked up with 8 women and dated a few casually.
Only i never had to deal with mixed signals that im dealing with in this case.
But i unfriended her over the weekend and frankly it feels weird.i never was on the dumping end of the dump game.
Girls seem to be tje ones who do tje dumping.
I feel bad but as Honeypie brought out, i was being used as entertainment. An ego rub for her own validation.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 October 2019):
You are 40+ years old, this sounds like a teenager’s post.
She is married, she is off limits. Why are you even wasting your time? You have never met, never will meet and will never get together, what are you getting out of this?
Get a grip and move on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiongood morning everyone and thanks for you replies. it certainly is alot to absorb when you're being advised to leave a 4 year friendship or whatever it is.
but i have to admit alot of what you said had me cornered and i couldn't disagree.
i unfriended her last night and i am trying hard to erase these past 4 years of laughter, conversation, etc..
but i feel exactly like some of your comments. Like Honeypie said, for a while i've been feeling like entertainment to her. A joke. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but it only takes 3 seconds to ask someone "how was your day".
We've had our share of talks, but always on her time. "Find someone who CAN reciprocate, who can like you back, who can INVEST in you." i think that's the answer i was looking for.
Thanks all....
p.s. for the anonymous reader who thinks i need social skills...if the woman i told i would bite her in the ass responds with a bunch of smiley faces, why am i the bad guy?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2019): She says she's married. You may be angling for an affair! She's not going for the bait, she's just a contact on FB.
You're reading more into it than there is. You're frustrated because you think that she might be a bit of a tease. Maybe she isn't at all, and you're just a bit pushy!
You're being suggestive and flirty, and she plays along. She's safe, because you'll never meet her! Her husband probably reads your posts too! He may even answer a few for a laugh! To get you going!
Go ahead and unfriend her. She's got a man! Who are you to judge how they should pose together on FB pics?
If she can go 2 months without a word, forgood is a cinch!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 October 2019):
 Any suggestions?
Yep, drop her, block her from all social media and go look for a SINGLE lady.
You are entertainment to her, nothing more than a distraction when things bets boring in her life. IS that really what you want to be? Some married woman's ego-rub?
You have her build up to be this wonderful lady, but reality is YOU really don't know her all that well.
As for her marriage or domestic partnership - it REALLY doesn't matter WHAT they call it, SHE is taken, SHE has a partner already and HE is the man she wants to be with, that SHE is with.
You call it a friendship but that is really a lie. You would like more, you have a romantic interest in her. THAT isn't friendship, when one person has ulterior motives like you do.
When you unfriended her, she didn't go to your Instagram because she missed you as a person, she MISSED the attention you were giving her.
If you were married or in a long term relationship with someone and she carried on like this woman behind your back with another man, HOW would you feel?
Think about it.
If you want a partner, then MAKE that your goal instead of being this married woman's ego rub. Use all that energy you are WASTING on wooing her. Find someone who CAN reciprocate, who can like you back, who can INVEST in you. Someone single.
Whatever you think you have with this one, it's fake and fantasy. It's escapism on both ends. But on her end it can destroy her marriage, and you will be partly to blame.
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A
female
reader, AnnieV1979 +, writes (12 October 2019):
 I'd leave her alone if I were you, she's still married! It's possible she talks to other men like she does you and that her husband monitors her online activity. She sounds like she likes the attention but doesn't really want it to go farther. I'm sorry, but until she gets divorced and reaches out to you, I'd leave her alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2019): Bite her in the ass .. are you kidding me .that's what you would do . I would slap guy who tried that into next week .
Your not cute and it's not funny ..sorry but you need to learn some social skills
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