A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've got a problem and don't know what to do about it. I'm currently in a lesbian relationship and have been for about a year now. I love my partner very much and we live together. Recently we've been going through a rough patch. We are both working different hours so don't get to spend time together. Our careers are also both evolving into bigger things. We're getting through the rough patch and I think everything is going to be ok but during our rough patch I think I've developed a crush on another woman. I don't even like admitting it but I know that's what it is, a crush.The woman in question is a lot older than me, I'm 15 years her junior, she's in a senior position at work and is very intelligent. It started of I was just so inspired by how much she's done with her life and just so honoured that someone like her would have coffee with someone like me who is just starting out, but from there it developed.Nothing has been done and nothing ever will be done. I don't want to cheat on my partner, but I can't get the thoughts about this woman out of my head and I'm worried I'm in dangerous territory.When I know I'm going to see her I find myself dressing nicer, making sure I look a bit sexier than usual. When she talks to me, I'm just like putty in her hand. She flirts with me aswell - she's very touchy feely and compliments me. Last night I had a dirty dream about her where we had an affair. The whole thing is just absurd. I think she may even be married herself.My partner and I are going on holiday soon so I'm hoping that the time away will give us time together and rekindle what was possibly lost in the rough patch and then stop me thinking of this other woman. What else can I do to stop these thoughts? I'm not going to cheat and you can't help being attracted to someone, but I feel guilty. I don't want to have an affair and I want things to get back on track with my parter but I'm scared of the intensity of my attraction to this woman.
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female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (3 July 2011):
I had the same problem at work. However my coworker is married to a guy n they have a small toddler together. This was while I was in my les relationship. Unless ur going around making friends at work telling them ur lesbian I wouldn't worry too much. So long as you don't act on these feelings. Let her not know of ur crush for her. Don't even make it obvious u like Chics. Just do your job, keep talk to minimum and maintain ur professionalism. Spend more time with ur woman having a date night. Embrace what you have. If all else falls allow the coworker to upset u mildly, that's sure to turn those romantic feelings off. That's what I did n I still find my coworker attractive but I'm just like whatever about it.
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