A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I both got jobs in the same company...so we work together most of the time...I've been there for about 5 months...He has been there for about a year. I noticed strange behavior coming from him and this other coworker of ours...she's beautiful, bubbly personality that matches his own. Her office is next to mine...so he would go into her office with the door closed and I can hear them both laugh hysterically...This happens like 5 times a day. When I get to work...she's either hanging by his door.. or he's by her door...times that she's been hanging by his door...she will see me and never tell my husband, "oh your wife is here" ...mind you...I'm texting him to see if my pt has arrived...and he will get back to me 45 min later...and he wouldn't even know that I was in the building....if im discussing with him something, he will cut me off to tend to her...always. When I approached my husband about the matter, how inappropriate their behavior is, he gave me attitude. I would dismiss a lot of things....One day to the next she was locked in her office, barely talk to anyone...she has been avoiding me...doesn't look at me...my husband says he swears that he never said anything to her...that nothing is going on...but in my heart I know something isn't right.She would also make weird/rude comments to me.. like, "I wish I had all this extra time to come to work looking like you" after my boss compliments my makeup/skin....and when I cut my hair short...she was the only one to not compliment me. My husband gets mad about the subject, rather than trying to comfort me...I can't blame her for all this flirting and suspicious behavior...because it takes two ppl, but she is married too. Do you think I'm overreacting?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1, thank you for your in put. Yes. I Def am preparing...I've checked his phone...nothing out of the ordinary....I've checked our bank accounts...All of them. At this point, I'm just going with the flow...Our child is my main focus. If this marriage falls apart, that's on him. I'm an educated woman, I can easily take care of my child and myself. Just so hurt that now days people don't give a damn if there's a ring on that finger. My husband should know better! And this woman...no respect at all. Especially since I work with her. And I really don't trust anyone at work to keep an eye on him...All everyone does is gossip...and bringing this up will cause so much drama.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMale Reader....I am not insecure...but I am bother by that behavior. ..because I know if I were to act like that, he wouldn't like it...because I asked him how he felt if I acted that way with a make coworker....and he did tell me that he would be bothered by that...there's different types of cheating...doesn't mean that they have to have sex, or kiss...flirting or being emotionally attached to a person is just as bad...it can lead to the physical part...
But lucky for me...she put in her two weeks! So no more worrying! Thanks Dear Cupid readers for your input! We talked all last night...I believe that it was harmless joking around on his part...no excuse...as for her...she should know better too...but I guess not.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): I cant tell you whether or not they are hsving or had an affair. That said the behavior is quite inappropriate. I would never go visit another man at his office multiple times a day or stay locked in an office for an hour. If its work related an innocent why cant the door stay open? Will he talk to you about it at all? Or does he just give you attitude? If he cant discuss an important issue, that's good enough reason to be upset. He should be able to communicate with you with out it being an issue.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): I agree that something is definitely going on. Figure out what it is exactly and get things in order to make your move, so that you are protected. Your workplace sounds a bit odd with with everyone complimenting each other constantly, it seems a bit off to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1, thank you for your in put. Yes. I Def am preparing...I've checked his phone...nothing out of the ordinary....I've checked our bank accounts...All of them. At this point, I'm just going with the flow...Our child is my main focus. If this marriage falls apart, that's on him. I'm an educated woman, I can easily take care of my child and myself. Just so hurt that now days people don't give a damn if there's a ring on that finger. My husband should know better! And this woman...no respect at all. Especially since I work with her.
And I really don't trust anyone at work to keep an eye on him...All everyone does is gossip...and bringing this up will cause so much drama.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 August 2014):
 No, it does sound odd. It sounds like a relationship that happened at a gym that I go to. There was this instructor and one of the members and they had an affair with a lot of behavior similar to what you describe. The wife was clueless because the husband was a very good liar. She only figured it out when she started going to the gym too.
If your gut tells you something is wrong then it's time to get that checked out. Hire someone or ask friends about it, if you feel comfortable with that.
Watch the cell phone/texting information on the phones, mileage on the car, etc.
Do you have children with him? If you do, I would be very proactive in protecting their futures and their education. Ensure they have bank accounts for their future that can't be touched. You'll have to go see an estate lawyer for that. While you are there with that lawyer you could discuss what might happen if it turned out your husband was a lying cheat.
Basically, get your ducks in a row. Be prepared.
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