A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I would just like some advice if possible. I went on holiday for 2 weeks with my sister. The first night wewere out there we went out and had a few too many,(it was actually the only night we got drunk, other nights just merry). We have been going to this place for over 10 years, and know everybody.Well this night me, my sister and our male friend (who we know real well) and his mate (who we didn't know) walked back to our hotel. Me and my sister's friend was staying with us, and we told his mate to leave as we don't know him from adam. Anyway, all is well, then we all went to bed, me being first. An hour or 2 had passed and I was woken up by this guy who we didn't know and sent home playing with me, fingering me, I was mortified. I'd been sexually assaulted/abused in my sleep. Luckily I woke after about 10 seconds. I was still drunk and yelled and screamed and pushed him out the room. My sister and our friend woke, I explained, and they said he definitely went which I knew, but no one locked the door and he must of come back in?I spent all day in bed crying, and after a few days I started to feel better. I know I should have gone to the police but I couldn't. I felt so ashamed, and feel it's my fault for being drunk.I'm not a flirty person. Never have been, and I'm with a man I love very much and were due to get married. I told him most of it, but not that he was in my room, said that I was out and someone felt me up, as he wouldn't understand. He said its okay, it's not my fault, and that unfortunately there are horible people out there.I feel so bad, and dirtyplease help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): You have had a 'life lesson' and I agree with the other advice it is pointless dwelling on it and being consumed with guilt or shame. Some men will take advantage of women when they are drunk and this was a disgraceful act on his part. To protect yourself don't get so drunk you are unaware or unable to respond. It is dangerous and makes you vulnerable. Fortunately you were with others so they could help you. Do not let this experience destroy your future happiness with your husband - be strong and assured it won't happen again.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Time heals all wounds. Even this one. You did nothing wrong, but you did learn a valuable lesson. Never get that drunk. And always keep your guard up when you are away from home. Worse things could have happened to you. You were really pretty lucky. Now quit beating yourself up, put the incident behind you and have a wonderful life with the man you plan to marry. Once you stop dwelling on it, you'll be able to feel better.
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Its not your fault AT ALL... ppl get drunk all the time and dont get molested, its that S.O.B.'s fault for being an asshole and a perv, golden rule: unconcious or asleep = unwilling, point blank period, no friggin exceptions, if you dont feel comfortable going to the police thats your choice, however i personally believe you should tell your fiancee, if your going to get married things should be out in the open, and if he thinks its your fault then get rid of him he should understand or hes not worth your time...
best of luck
message me if you wanna talk :]]
-Myesha
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A
male
reader, edge16 +, writes (27 July 2007):
 its not your fault u did nothing wrong its all the fault goes to the guy that felt u up HE raped U! u did nothing wrong he broke into your room u should have no guilt
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