A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel0101
writes:okay I decided to stay with my boyfriend after he had a one night stand but it's really hard. everytime i walk down the street im thinking is that the girl? it's driving me insane, when we are together things are gr8 they are even better now than they were before, im scared i will have these insecurities for ever. I don't know what to do? I love him so much and don't want to be with anyone else, I know he will never do it again but I just want to smack that girl.I know that is wrong but I feel like it will make things better for me. I am seriously confused, anyone got any advice? I wrote previously about the night that it happened. please help I'm going mad!!!!
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female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (17 April 2007):
 hey hun...im so sorry it has turned out like that if you need to talk to somebody just leave me a message. Im here to help!
Take care love emma x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007): saw that you said your partner had left you.how are you coping?was it because of how you felt?anyone hope you are ok.
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A
female
reader, angel0101 +, writes (17 April 2007):
angel0101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits okay and i would like to say thank you for all your answers but he has left me he told me he doesnt love me anymore
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A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (16 April 2007):
 i think maybe youd probably have liked to batter your boyfriend when you found out but where hes been understanding and sorted this mess out with you maybe you still have unvented anger.that totally inderstandable.obviously you cant talk to her you cant hear her side of things(not that you should)maybe you are fantazizing that shes something she clearly isnt.dont let her drag you down and undo the good work you and your fella have done.it takes a very very strong relationship to get over this.you clearly have that dont fall at the last hurdle and spoil things for the future.you could belt her then the police get called etc etc.then think of all the past youd be dragging up.let if go and put your energies into yourself and your man.
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A
female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (11 April 2007):
Hey hun...I know how you feel except my bf was having a full blown affair with one of my best friends. I found out after she had given birth to HIS child. We stayed together and after a very long story It still sucks!! it's been a year and my bf cant do enough for me. Things are better in the romance department and everything else but I cannot seem to get rid of the anger I feel towards her. I cant shake the images. But the thing is the fact that you are with your bf is getting up her nose im sure. your a woman and im a woman & we know that generally when we sleep with someone it's because we are either drunk or we genuinely like the guy. If it was a drunken night then forget her she is a no good worthless trollop and what goes around comes around i say dont let her bring you down and if she likes your guy then you can be sure as hell that the 2 of you staying together is really rubbing her nose in it! so think next time you feel angry that the girl is probably spitting nails your man chose you and that is how she is paying! she should think before she sleeps with someone elses man! your better than letting her get you down. Fu*k her, thats what i say! hope this helps. you know where i am if you need a chat. M xxx
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A
female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (11 April 2007):
Hey hun...I know how you feel except my bf was having a full blown affair with one of my best friends. I found out after she had given birth to HIS child. We stayed together and after a very long story It still sucks!! it's been a year and my bf cant do enough for me. Things are better in the romance department and everything else but I cannot seem to get rid of the anger I feel towards her. But the thing is the fact that you are with your bf is getting up her nose im sure. your a woman and im a woman & we know that generally when we sleep with someone it's because we are either drunk or we genuinely like the guy. If it was a drunken night then forget her she is a no good worthless slapper what goes around comes around i say dont let her bring you down and if she likes your guy then you can be sure as hell that the 2 of you staying together is really rubbing her nose in it! so think next time you feel angry that the girl is probably spitting nails your man chose you and that is how she is paying! she should think before she sleeps with someone elses man! your better than letting her get you down fuck her, thats what i say! hope this helps. you know where i am if you need a chat. M xxx
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Long ago in China there was a group of monks who were forbidden to talk while outside their monastery and were also forbidden to have any contact whatsoever with women. One day an old monk and an younger one were crossing a turbulent river and saw a woman standing on a rock in the middle yelling for help. The old monk picked her up and carried her across. When they got back to the monastery, the young monk started yelling at the older one about how could he possibly have actually touched a woman and things like that. The older one just said "Are you still carrying that woman? I set her down back on the river bank?"
You're still carrying that woman that your boyfriend stopped carrying a while ago.
Let go of her.
If you trust your guy now, get that third person the hell out of your relationship. YOU are the one who is keeping her in there, and it's only hurting you.
If you happen to be a religious person, you might try honestly praying for this woman, that she will get whatever she needs in her life. It's hard to hate someone you are praying for regularly.
Regardless, concentrate on the good thing that you and your guy have together now. Celebrate it. Be thankful for EVERYTHING in the past that has shaped it into what it is today ... all his experiences and all your experiences. All of them go into what you have, and if what you have is good then even the bad things that happened to either of you (whether they happened to you 15 years ago or last week) went into making it good. Stop worrying about one incident in his past.
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