A
female
age
36-40,
*ena1
writes:hello every one,i have just written lately about my husband,the one that i have just got married to and he is little cold with me even before he was dieing to marry me,and i found out that he look at porn and play with his self.every one told me its ok if that doesnt affect your sexuel life.so now i am writting again so i can inform every one that affect my sexual life,and every time i am not at the house i find out that he does it.and he does not ask me for sex just rare.anyway this just so i can explain to old and new reader the old story.the new things is that i am tired of keeping things in my heart and i decided to tell him what i found out.i sit with him and told him but the things that shock me is that he denied he jerk off.he said i look always at naked women when i am bored,but eh never play with his self,which i am sure he did.and he asked me to bring prove to hin.i did and every thing i say he find excuse for it.now he is acting like he is angry because i accuse him of something he did not do,which i am prety sure he did it.pleaze my freinds tell me what i do in this situation?i discover that he lies to my face now and he act like he doesn't ,i have never thought that the one i gave my life too will be lier.what do i have to do?
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male
reader, Bryce  +, writes (6 June 2009):
Hi i have read about your issues and the answers people have given you and i being a guy, haven't seen something that would turn me over. For starters it depends on how old you & him are different maturity levels call for different answersl, that being said, asking him to go to doctors and seek medical advice would make anybody uneasy, unhappy, or a whole range of emotions, none of which i think you want. If he has a temper thats another story it goes into the emotional side of things which probably is where the problem lies. However there are ways around it without having to sit down with him and make him uneasy. If i were in your position and this is a general sort of think as i know nothing about you or him...Don't confront him unless its a big thing eg. he's having an affiar or something. Small things like the sexual life you can work around. For starters have a little look in the internet history files at what kind of porn he has been looking at (when your not there) that should give you a good insight into what HE is looking for. That being said, as someone once said "it takes two to tango" if he isn't doing anything and just seems like he is avoiding you a little bit in any way that matters to you find a way to make him do what you want without making it obvease at all.....But don't nag the more you do it, it doesn't sink in, as a matter of a fact it has the opposite affect. So try that and let me know ;) i know its not as easy as it sounds but if you want it you can achive it without effort.
A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (14 November 2008):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the answers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): ask him what his fantasy is maybe you could try surprising him one night after work in a kinky outfit or you could try sex in exciting places or go to a hotel for the weekend?
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (12 November 2008):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to say that he is open when it come to sex and me too, I don't mind doing any thing just anal (I hate that). My life is good. The only problem I have is that he is not that interested about sex like the day I knew him and his temper.lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): maybe you could suggest you and him go and see a doctor together they could give him some pills that will make him get hard whenever. perhaps this is emotional rather than physical maybe he feels like your his wife and he can't ask you to try things that he wants to try so he'l watch porn instead.
let him know that your open to any suggestions and when you two are doing things let him no how good it feels
you might benefit from going to see a doctor together or maybe it would make you feel better if you made your own videos but i don't know how open you are to trying things like this.
if your happy in your relationship bar the sex side of things carry on being adventurous and trying new things but if your truly not happy with it all maybe you and your husband should try sitting down and talking about it and you could take some time apart.
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A
female
reader, lena1 +, writes (12 November 2008):
lena1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni thank every one for answering me.
i want to say that i watch porn with him i have no pbm.
i even told him when he denied that is normal every man in teh world like to watch that from time to another and play with his self just say you did it and dont lie to me.
then he started geting angry because i called i him liar and ask me for proves.
you know what i dont really care if he watch it just not make me get affected with this things,
before we get married he was dieing to have sex with me and i made him wait till marriage and now he prefer looking at other macked women and not ask me for sex.
i dont really what to do,any way even all this happen i tried to make every things normal and i act with him normal and he is playing the role of the innocent.
and he even has nervous to tell me he doesnt get hard that easy.
can you beleive this.
actually i am starting to lose the interest of sex with him ,i dont know what to do.
help me plz
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Maybe you could come up with ways a list of things you and him could try sexually as a couple. if you find his porn maybe you and him could watch it together in future. i think your husband was probably just embarasd that he masturbates over porn and you know about it. if all else fails tell him that it makes you a little insecure that he watches porn tell him your insecurities and maybe he could reassure you. plenty of men watch porn but it doesn't mean it's acceptable if your not ok with it. maybe you and him could spend more time having sexual fun that way when your out the house, he's too tired to play. you and your husband have just got married now is the time for sexual experimentation. have fun and good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): I think you might have embarrssed him, few men admit that sort of thing even though everyone does it and there's is nothing wrong with it. with their friends but men don't instead of making it a shamful thing, do it with him tell him you want him to watch, and that it turns you on to watch him. tell him you want him to do it for you, Make it a game make feel comfortable about it to the point where he no longer needs to hide it,or anything else becasue he will always know that you will never judge him, your is best friend right? Try it if you can't beat him join him ( no pin intended! LOL Because he is not going to stop imagin if he told you to stop, No one stops we are all human. Good luck try it it might be really fun
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