A
female
age
30-35,
*old_as_ice17
writes:For the past few days me and my bf of 8 months have been arguing. Like any relationship we have had our ups and downs but for the most part we have had the most beautiful loving relationship. but for some reason i can't seem to get over this argument we had recently. Sorry if this is long but i'm lost. My bf is 6 yrs older than me, he's 24. I obviously can't go to bars or clubs so i stay at home while he's out with his friends. This bothers me but most of the time i ignore the feeling or don't say anything to him. After all if i was in his posiion i wouldn't want any one nagging me. This past weekend I got completely upset when he told me that he had invited one of our co-workers (who he had a crush on before i came along. I was infuriated. So not only did he not txt me all night but he was out with this girl dancing and having fun. I ended up telling him that i didnt trust him, but deep down i know that its because i wish i could go out with him and have fun so no one else has to. So he keeps saying that he thought i would be ok with it and its immature not to trust him and blah balh. which is not fair. any way so then this later turned into me realizing that i put him first in my life and i come only after his friends. He claims to love me so why is it that he can so easily tell me that he wont be availabe and not to make any plans on weekends these next few months b/c he has a lot of friends b-days. its not fair. I'm the busy one juggling school, work, and him. He only has to worry about work so why is it that he is telling me when i can and can't see him. I see him everyother night since he works close I visit him at work but that doesn't count for me; not enough. My sister and friend have been telling me to end it since our love is not equally shared. But i don't want to end it just yet.Am I wrong for still loving him and wanting to be with him even though he puts me next on the list after his friends. He told me he doesnt love me the same since he can't just blow his friends off for me. Am i stupid for not wanting to end it? Or is it a normal process and he will eventually grow out of his party phase? We have went as far as talking about marriage so this was serious relationship. I don't just want to throw everything down the drain. I know he loves me but i don't know if its enough. :(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 January 2010):
Does he really love you that much? I appreciate the fact that he goes out with his friends. He should be able to. But he really doesn't seem to do all that much with you. All I can read is that you're sat at home, and maybe you occasionally see him, while he's just out with friends most of the time. He just doesn't sound all that interested in you to be honest. And even your friend and sister have both said it's all wrong. You're not wrong for not loving him and you're not stupid. You just love someone, no one can help it. It's just sad that your love is so wasted on a guy who just isn't that into you. Don't think he will suddenly grow up either.
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