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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 years of age and my boyfriend is 23. I got to know him through a male friend of his who is also my friend. We've been together for the past one and half year. My problem is that, he is not all that handsome to me but a very caring,kind,From a very religious home. I know he loves me very much i also do love him but his looks is the only problem with me now. He is ever ready to do everything for me to stick to me because he said, I'm the reason why he is happy and everything. Whenever i look at him i feel guilty because of how i feel about him. He loves me very much and i also do love him very much. Please advise me because this is really worrying me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I agree that when you love, you see the person as very desirable and perfect as they are, but not everyone in love sees their partner as the most desirable person on the planet. Consider how many husbands wish their wives would start caring more about their diet and fitness! And vice versa oftentimes as well. If the problem is so bad to you that it becomes so bothersome... you think they need to change so drastically, I couldn't say you love them truly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your suggestions. But the whole thing is i love my b/f very much so i will try to ignore how i feel about him and continue with my relationship to avoid him from suspecting that i have something up my sleeves. I appreciate your advice all.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I also think you aren't really in love with the guy. People in love see the other person as the most desirable person in the world. Just the thought of kissing those sweet lips send shivers down their spines. Everything about them is hot and exciting. Now, I love my brother but I think he's goofy looking. Capish?
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male
reader, Lucky luke  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 If it's not gonna work, it's not gonna work...rather end the relationship sooner than later.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): You don't say why his looks are a problem. Do his looks put you off him? Can you contemplate kissing him and having sex with him? If not, then you might be better to try and just be friends.
It could be that you are worried about what other people think. If this is the case, just remember that if they judge him on his appearance they are a bit shallow. People will always find some fault with each other, but it is what you think of him that matters.
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (14 December 2010):
 For a relationship to work there must be a physical connection as well as an emotional connection. While looks aren't everything, I'm going have to disagree with Tante, unfortunately. You are already saying "but his looks is the problem for me..." The fact that they are a PROBLEM shows that this won't work in the long run for you. It sounds like you are just staying with him because you do not want to hurt his feelings. Because of that, I think you should move on. I know if I was in his position I would not want someone to stay with me if they do not find me physically attractive in even a small way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I do not think u are in love. When u love someone everything about the person is perfect. If not perfect atleast not somethin u crib about. I think ur jus in love with d thot of bein in love. Think over it.
I know i mite sound harsh bt u need to open ur eyes and see wat is d truth rather than live in ur la la land.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Why is handsomeness so important to you? It is obviously not affecting your love for him that you are somehow not satisfied with his looks.
It is unfair to him that you are contemplating this... you two are already in love. Why question things now; just keep fighting for it... stay together, be loyal to your relationship.
Don't think ill thoughts of anyone because they aren't some model- ideal. Very few are! And their looks will most predictably degenerate over time, leaving only non- physical virtues behind.
He must be appealing to your taste if you've developed such feelings for him and stayed with him this long! Why have doubts now?
-Tante Victoire
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): looks is not that important.. i have a crush on a sexy girl but she doesnt have the best personality so please dont lose him.!!
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