I know he isn't good enough but I can't imagine life without him!

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met him when I was 16. We had an instant attraction. We were friends though, for a few years until we shared our first kiss. After that, whether either of us had an other, we would be together when we got the chance. Finally we took a step towards a relationship. I was in a wild phase and I did a lot I regret. But I loved him. One night, we laying together and he said "I don't think this will work. You want more out of life and this is all I'll ever be." I started crying and told him how he's always been what I wanted and I think he's perfect. He held me tighter. A few days later he left. We remained together in a LDR but I also kept seeing someone else. He went back to his ex and I moved home and spent the summer alone. One day he contacted me, like I knew he would and eventually I confessed my feelings for him. I went to see him but the thing with him is he drinks and he turns into an asshole. We remain as friends, and spend more months flirting and growing feelings. I saw him the day before last. He lives three hours away and my family had a thing to go to. He showed up. All while I've been messing with him, I've developed a relationship with his mom. He introduced me to her. She loves me. He's already met my family because they've always been in the right place at the right time. He and I spend some time visiting, and I return to my duties. He asks to see me later and I agree. But later comes and I get too tired and cancel. He proceeds to wait outside and harass me via text, even ending our "friendship." All while I ignore him. Apparently he'd been drinking. The next day he apologizes,saying his reason was he never gets to see me. He shows up again, this time with hickeys. I remain friendly. On the drive home, I am able to process my emotions. I love him. I hadn't planned on telling him I was in town, but somehow knew he'd know I was there. I don't know what he wants with me. And seeing him with hickeys hurt more than anything. I concluded we shouldn't be in contact anymore, because I'm at a point where I need stability and a responsible partner. But I can't let him go. And for some reason I keep thinking about when he said he wasn't good enough. And I know he isn't good enough, but I can't think of life without him. I need thoughts. Thanks for your time.

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