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I know he has a past, I just wish he would leave it there

Tagged as: Long distance, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *oBlue writes:

Im in a long distance relationship with a man i love very much

he is working toward moving closer to me so we can see each other more.

my problem in he still maintains in contact with a few women who he was in a relationship with, right before him and i

two of these ladies i can tell still love him very much.

he wants to maintain friend ships because he still cares about them, says if everyone respects boundary's there shouldn't be a problem.

i feel like hes just keeping them overly attached and i dont fully understand the nature of their ongoing friend ship.

he is reluctant to talk about them because he says then he feels like i dont trust him. i do trust that he isnt sleeping with them.. i just dont like the heart connection he maintains with them..

am i just being immature... should i get over it..

Im considering just contacting the women myself.

and asking them to please let him go, that it hurts me to have steady reminders of their connection to him.

Im wondering if any good would come of it?

if they tell him i contacted them he may feel even more distrusted... i don't want to hurt us..

i know he had a past..

i just wish he would leave it there.

he says he is more committed to me than he has ever felt for another woman...

and yet i still dont feel it.

Im afraid my insecurity's will sabotage our relation ship

I don't know what to do, or whats reasonable to make issues over, or what i need to just wait out, or get over.

the anxiety is eating me up.

..ideas anyone? ..should i contact the ex's?

View related questions: immature, long distance

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

Please, please, please just leave this guy. He is no good for you or any woman. That you ask this question knowing full well what is happening is more the issue IMO. Respect yourself and give attention to someone that genuinely reciprocates.

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