A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband have been married for 4 yrs. We married 3 weeks after we met. He is my soul mate, he says I'm his. We would make love 2 to 3 times a day. I do know that after awhile things slow down. I get that. However, 1 month after marriage, I met his parents, it came to a screeching hault. And I mean a dead stop. I tried to initiate, he turned me down more than I have fingers on my hand. So I leave him alone. He is no longer effectionate, spontanious, or loving. We had our four yr anniversary sept of this year..nothing happened. We have not been intimate since the beginning of Aug of this year. It is now 2 days before the new year. I am very lonely, aggrivated, and I just want him to leave. I have physically and emotionally shut down. I have a roommate not a soul mate. He claims that he has to be in the mood because he wont satisfy me. Well I would take that over nothing. HELP!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): why did everything come to a screeching halt after you met his parents??
it seems something very serious happened. You don't go from having sex 2 to 3 times a day, to nothing, so suddenly unless something very psychologically traumatic happened.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): "1 month after marriage, I met his parents, it came to a screeching hault. And I mean a dead stop."
You have your answer, but may not get the story. There is something seriously wrong here that only a dedicated marital counselor can get to the bottom with.
Your husband may never open up...that may be hard to hear, but he may open up in the end as well.
Tell him, don't ask him, that you and he are going to counseling.
Tell him what you wrote here, tell the counselor what you wrote here, exactly.
My wife had an affair that eventually led to us getting counseling, and we'd had intimacy problems for years before her affair as well as after (worse after even though she successfully convinced me there hadn't been an affair). Let me tell you, opening up about the parents and the past and childhood can be really hard to do, and what you find can be rather terrible.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (31 December 2010):
 I am not sure what the answer is or what is going on with your husband.Here are some potential solutions for you to try:1) Go out on a hot date, dress to the t's and impress your husband. Put on your best moves and see what happens. Perhaps getting out of town for a night in a hotel. You should remember how to seduce him, so do it!2) Seek counseling. Sounds like there are some funny issues going on and there is a lot more going on here than you mention. Have you asked your husband straight out why he is turning you down? Have you explained how much this hurts you?As a last resort, your husband's sex drive or interest in your may be waning. The options for you, if that is the case, is to live without sex, find alternative outlets or move on.
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