A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, i have a big situation on my hands. There's this guy who i've been hanging out with A LOT and I started developing feelings for him but the thing that sucks is that he has a gf. She shows him no type of respect and over all she's not a good gf at all but yet he's still with her :/ So i decided to flirt with him and eventually would lead into a kiss and at first he wasnt going for it because of his gf but last tuesday we made out and after that we were basically acting like a couple. I know your probably thinking he messed up already because he cheated but please believe me when i tell you that he's a really good honest faithful guy. He must not care about her as much considering he did cheat. His gf and i do not get along and me and her bf hang out 6 of 7 days so he's with me basically all the time. My feelings for him are developing more since were acting like a couple now and knowing him i know he wouldnt be using me for sex and i know he cares about me but why is he still with his stupid horrible lookin gf? I cant keep this in anymore. I need to tell him how i feel so when should i do that ?? How should i tell him ?? How can i make him fall for me ?? THanks soooo much..any advice would be very much appreciated !!!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 July 2010):
 You are delusional if you think this guy is a good faithful guy. No matter how horrible his current GF is, matter of a fact is, he is currently dating HER and CHEATING on her with you. That means he is no where faithful.
If his GF is so horrible he should have dumped her before getting involved with you.
Obviously he actually likes his horrible stupid looking GF, but he likes to feel "popular" with the ladies. So he is stinging you along as well..
Lovely guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Hmmm...You know already that people are going to tell you that if he cheats on his gf, he will eventually cheat on you right?Are you totally in love with this guy that you think nothing of sharing him with his official gf? Does she know about you being together?You are saying you know he is a good, faithful,honest guy, but based on what he does, he doesn't sound much like one.Did he promise you he would break up with her, or does he think he can go on going out with both of you?You sound angry that he is still with the "horrible" gf, and rightly so, since you think he cares about you.I am concerned( you could be my daughter) that you are saying you know he is not using you for sex, because it tells me you are having sex with him already.Please don't answer this but do protect yourself.You don't really say what you values are. Is this o.k with you that a guy cheats on his gf because it's with you? If he ditches her and goes out exclusively with you, would you think it o.k if he did cheat on you? The point is not that the gf is "horrible", it's that he stays with her.It sounds terribly confusing and potentially harmful for your self-esteem and your heart, in the long run.If you are o.k with cheating and don't mind losing him the same way you won him, then fine. But it does sound like you are really into this guy and want an exclusive relationship.He sounds like a bit of a wuss, that he doesn't man up to tell you where you stand or has the guts to break up with his gf, if he pretends that he doesn't like her or she doesn't treat him right...If you can handle the drama, go for it. If this hurts you, my advice would be to back off, but like I said, I don't know much about what's going on in adolescent land.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 July 2010):
A good, honest faithful guy? He must not care about her because he did cheat? You know he wouldn't use you for sex? You know he cares about you? And he's still with that stupid, horrible looking gf?
He cheated. So he's not faithful, or good. A good, faithful guy doesn't cheat. Period.
You're right, he couldn't care about her at all. But he didn't dump her. Instead, he has his way with her, and he'll have his way with you too. Know what that means? He doesn't care about you either.
Yes he would use you for sex. Of course he would. He's using this other girl, who he won't dump. So he'd use you anytime he likes, as he already had a kiss with you. Think he'll suddenly dump her if you have sex? Nope, he won't.
Clearly he doesn't care about you or he would have dumped her and not just cheated and kissed you.
And the finale, why is he with that stupid horrible looking gf? Because he is.
I'm not sure you really understand guys at all. You should read the other posts on this site about women and cheating men. It's like an obituary. Woman after woman after woman who suddenly have thought they are more important than they are when a guy cheats with her. He's a cheat. If he cheats on her, he will cheat on you. And that's assuming he will dump her for you, which he hasn't so far.
Be intelligent. Forget this guy. Carry on, and you'll be the one some other girl is calling 'the stupid, horrible looking gf' when he cheats on you with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): You should tell him how you feel immediately. I wouldn't bad-mouth his girlfriend in the conversation, though. Don't be surprised if he tells you he won't break up with her for you. He's still with her for a reason, after all.
If he chooses to stay with his girlfriend, you and he are done. You shouldn't keep hanging out with him or making out with him, just out of respect for his girlfriend. I don't care if you hate her; if the tables were turned, you wouldn't appreciate it. Shame on you for encouraging his cheating behavior, too. Shame on him for cheating.
If he does break up with her for you, you need to ask yourself if you'll be OK dating him knowing that he's OK with cheating. He can get just as bored of you as he did with his current girlfriend. I know you don't believe it right now because you think he's so great.
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