A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who is a player. I knew this foolishly I ignored this thinking I could change him. We started messing around but meanwhile I developed feelings towards him which sucks because he's not into one person ever! Basically I've seen him few times since as friends because I foolishly told him how I feel and he's being much more distant now. But he keeps telling me about all these people he likes, how sweet these girls are etc. I can't take it. He knows it. It sucks because I really like him as a person and I wish we had never done anything because he means a lot. I'm stuck in a rut because I love being with him but I tried kissing him but he pulls back. I'm gutted i'm hurting I've told him i'm hurting but I don't know how to feel better.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFantastic reply lol thanks Honeypie!!! I've seen some of your other replies on here, amazing aunt on here thank you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 August 2015):
 So you have a choice now.
You told him that you have feelings for him, maybe in hopes that he actually cares about you, but found out that he isn't really capable or willing to get involved emotionally with you... or anyone.
Yes, it was foolish to "mess around" with the town he-whore, but you biggest mistake? Was to think YOU could/can change him.
HE is who he is. It's a little nutty to think that because YOU have caught feelings for him, he will all of a sudden give a fly's fart. HE won't.
ACCEPT that.
If it hurts your feeling to hear about all his other conquests... CUT HIM OFF. Stop talking to him. He isn't a friend, you are not his friend either (because you WANT more).
Sometimes we fall for people for ALL the wrong reasons. It's a mistake. It happens. This time, it happened to you.
DO NOT feel bad that you aren't capable of casual messing around, like he is. That means you ACTUALLY care about people, HE doesn't. HE cares about himself only.
Let him go. Chalk it up to a "WTF was I thinking!!?" and move on.
DO not date "fixer uppers" - guy you think would be "perfect" if only you could change "this" or "that" about them. Like one of our DC aunties call it "don't date a guy for his potential" date a guy for WHO he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNice reply thanks
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015): ok you said foolishly twice so maybe i can help you cut out of your obe sided romance by pointing out that you will be saying foolishly yet again if you dont put the brakes on .If you enjoy tormenting yourself ,then you just keep on aiming for the impossible. If you want to start thinking smart ,then you need to stop seeing this guy totally and drop all thoughts of someone that invokes such negative feelings.As a final antidote find at least two teasons a day why youre taking smart action to counteract a deadend option.
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