I kicked him out and although its very peaceful I am tempted to call him

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. I don't know if you remember me or not, but I was on here some months ago upset because of everything that had happened in my relationship. My husband had threatened to kill himself twice when we were dating, kept making excuses about not buying me a ring, and was embarrassing me in public sometimes. He would say that he wasn't trying to. Recently he embarrassed me in the movie theater when I was with him and a friend. He embarrassed me because he acted upset that I brought food instead of buying food at the theater (I am poor so I was saving the money to buy meats the next week for him and me since otherwise he would complain.) He was also the one who took 500 or more out of our joint account to pay for his court speeding bills when we were saving that money for a traditional wedding, since we had already gotten a courthouse wedding. I had my own problems as well, sometimes not talking to him because he upset me, or yelling at him. Blaming him for how I acted and him doing the same to me once or a few times. We were living together at my moms house and he complained about our food, because he has GERD, but we are poor and can't afford certain things. He has a job. My mom is retired. I am doing an internship that does not pay, and did not have enough time to get a job as the internship requires me to go to workshops and meetings. I came home one day from a workshop and a class, so I was home around seven something or close to eight. I was also sick. I wanted to take some of the meds he had and he asked me about the meds he bought for me and I wasn't sure which ones he was talking about, so he started yelling at me for "playing dumb" and I told him not to assume that I was playing dumb, then I started yelling at him, and he said "Nobody wants to hear you etc etc." So that night I slept in the living room. The next day I kicked him out. I wanted some peace. I was tired of the fighting, the roller coaster. I know that marriages have fights, and it's normal, but I was tired of fights over stupid things. Tired of coming home tired and having to deal with that sometimes. I haven't called or talked to him in about a week. We tried counseling before, but he acted like we should stop going and save money, even though I had more money then him at that time. I know that I could've spent more time with him, and that was one of my problems. But now that everything is peaceful and has been peaceful for almost two weeks now. I am tempted to call him. It seems like we have been emotionally abusing each other. I remember when I was going to break up with him and he hinted that he might kill himself, thereby setting himself up for a relationship of someone feeling sorry for him instead of loving him. Maybe I should've still broken up with him then. I was going to break up with him, I think because despite how I was trying to work on some of my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder issues from my past, he couldn't be there for me when I needed him the most at one moment and he told me to "Get over it." (As in get over my past, everything that has happened to me.) I am willing to get through what has happened to me, but the mean way he said "Get over it" instead of trying to be there for me really hurt me. And to this day it feels like I have trouble forgiving him for certain things. To this day it feels like he is going to keep doing certain things over and over. I know this may sound like a dumb question, but should I call him or not? Is it time to find a lawyer? My next goal would be to have not talked for him for two weeks if I don't.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010):

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A male reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (7 February 2010):

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