A
female
age
36-40,
*ndrea24
writes:I met this guy 2 months ago, he was my best friend's boyfriend. However, she break up with him coz she was still in love with her ex. This "guy" was so depressed for what she did to him and he started to called me for advice and moral support (we were kind of friends before my friend become his girlfriend). Our first meeting was in a restaurant and he was really sad, I was getting a divorce too and I was so depressed too..I don't know how this happened but in the middle of our conversation I started crying and he kissed me!!! I didn't know what to do at that time. We stop chatting, texting and no more phone calls. we made the decision to do this coz he was also my ex-husband's friend. When the time passed by I started to missed him (I don't know why)He text me and we start talking again. We were dating and finally we had sex...but I didn't knew he was virgin!!! at least what he told me. I'm older than him so it looks like he was being honest. Since that day he asked me for marriage (which I accepted if we spend more time together to know each other)Everything was perfect and we start a dream relationship until he cheated on me...with my friend! I caught him online chatting with my friend (he denied it and told me that he will never do that again) He said that he was just saying hi to her (yeah right, it was watching him repeating the same story he did with me). I forgive him coz I was in love, then he lied to me again! He told me he was going to sleep when he was chatting on yahoo, (I know this coz i could hear his messanger on when I called him). Because of this I got mad at him and I didn't answer his calls for the whole day. Which he took advantages and contacted my friend (again)However, this time was worst coz he asked her for marriage...How can that be if we were still in a relationship??!!! I was just mad, we never talk about a break up!!! Anyway, he called me the same day my friend told me that he contacted her (she didn't knew we were dating, we keep our relationship in secret for his ex and my ex husband). He called me the same day and confessed me that he contacted her and asked me to forgive him. Which I did. However, something change coz didn't seem happy with him..He was being distant. He call me to say hi, but he never spent enough time as before! He usually told me how much he missed me and home much he loves me, he called me at least 5 times a day. However, now it looks like I bother him when I called him. I even caught him laying to me...when I called him he said that he has something important to do or that his boss call him so he has to hang up on me, but in the reality he is online, or in facebook..why he is doing that to me if I was the one who keep forgiving him for what he did to me? Does he really feel something or he is playing with my feelings? Sometimes I feel that he just used me to forget my friend and now Im useless for him. we were supposed to get married next Monday, but I stop answering his calls. For me this is over..Did I over reacted?
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a break, best friend, cheated on me, depressed, divorce, facebook, her ex, his ex, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 May 2011):
 Based on what you wrote about him, I really don't think you two were going to have a successful marriage with this foundation of mistrust and lies. So, no, you didn't overreact.
You've only known him for 2 months and it seems that most of your contact is through phone calls and texts and messenger. That's not really a solid base for a strong and lasting relationship. Calls and texts and messenger could be part of getting to know someone but there has to be more than that.
I have no idea what he was thinking but it doesn't really matter in the long run for you. He does sound flirty and unreliable so maybe not really worth thinking about any longer. What's more important is that you look for a guy who can spend time with you in person so that you can really get to know each other. I encourage you to get off the computer and out into the real world so you have a chance at meeting someone that way, okay?
Good luck to you.
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