A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. He is my first boyfriend. I love him so much but I am so worried that I don't really, maybe I just think I do, after all how do I know when I've never had another one! We talk about the future as if its a definite thing and sometimes it makes me happy but sometimes it just scares me. I worry about realising I don't, maybe if within a few years I meet someone and realise I actually love them!? I don't know, I can't explain it. But I just don't know what I'd do if I had to break up with him, he's my best friend and I don't think I could live without him. But really sometimes I question how I know I love him, and I worry that I'll end up in some empty shell marriage! Argh! What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Oh! No we are not planning to get married soon! I just mean we have talked about it, I've made clear I wouldn't want to get married til at least my mid 20s.Thank you for your advice,I hope he is "my one" ^.^x
A
female
reader, baby blue fairy +, writes (10 February 2007):
calm down ure still young its nice to plan 4 the future but ure jumpin into a different life! hold on ! u may love him so spend time with him now rather than plannin and thinkin what if hes obviously stayin so dont think bout him goin! u no wot they say young love never dies best of luck
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Please don't jump into marriage too soon. You are very young and if you're having doubts at all they you should take things easy and continue to get to know one another. Remember too that love is a two-way thing and should be reciprocated by your partner. Remember, loves takes time to grow... Here's my definition of being in love.
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Is this how you're feeling? If you're REALLY in love, it should be! ;o)
Eve
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