A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know this site is normally for love relationships, but what about friendships? I have a friend who I met when we were 13. Her parents were both extremely abusive towards her. Countless times she would call me crying about the horrific things they did or said to her.(ive witnessed some things too it was so horrible!) Now we are 24. She is always so negative, she has a hard time keeping jobs, and boyfriends. If something goes wrong she will dwell on it for days. I try to make her realize that she can take control of her life. She doesnt seem to want to try. She says she will fail anyway so why set herself up for dissappointment? Shes had suicide attempts. shes also a single mom of a 1 yr old son. She is seeing a counselor but its not helping her at all! I love this girl to death i just dont know how to help her and if I even can! If i try to say something even constructive she blows up and thinks I'm against her. So i keep my mouth shut and support her. I'm her best friend, what else can I do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying :) i thought no one was going to. It is hard to watch her struggle I just want to shake her and yell at her to tell her that she's an awesome person and that her parents were wrong. I know I cant do that. She is amazing though, she just has no idea that she is! :( thanks again for replying tho! :)
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 You don't have much choice but to keep doing what you have already been doing and that's being there for her. I know it is hard to watch someone when they are suffering or screwing up their life. In your friends case she is already receiving professional treatment so she is moving along the right track. Although it may not appear that the councellor is helping these things often take time in just the same way that all her problems took time to be created. Hold her hand when you can, love her but also remember to look after yourself in all of this as it can be an enormous strain on you too so it is important for you to recognise when to stand back as well.
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