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I keep giving him money, he keeps lying to me and standing me up!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 April 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *luvme23 writes:

I was seeing a guy for a few months. I thought whatever we had was good. Then things fell off. I wasnt seeing him as often. He'd always forget to call me back. But I put it up with it. Then he lost his job, and me being stupid I started giving him money when he asked. Which was damn near everyday since he was kind of staying with me. Then for valentines day I bought him a very expensive gift; and got nothing in return. Not even quality time. After that I was fed up. I broke it off, but ended up going right back to him. And the same thing continued. Not seeing him, no calls, and being stood up and lied to numerous times. Finally I was serious about leaving him alone. I didnt call him or anything I was ready to move on. Then one night while I was out at a club with friends I run into him. I actually walked right into him, he starting hugging me and would not let go. And after a few seconds I didnt fight him off, I missed him so much. Just to have him hold me and smell his scent made my night. I know its pathetic but true. He told me to call him before I left, but for what? So he could ignore my call? He claimed he wouldn't. So the night continued. I had a ball. Just like he asked I called him before I left. He didnt answer but called me back. He ended up getting into a fight when the party ended. So a week goes by and we speak everyday. I wanted to know why I wasnt seeing him; he claimed because his mom was sick and he didnt want to be too far away from her because she has MS. I accepted his excuse. Then he finally comes to see me, and once again like an idiot I give him money. He promises that he was going to take me out that friday. The day before I ask him was we still on for friday, he says yeah. Come friday hes not answering his phone or text nothing. I curse him out on his voicemail and text because Im hurt. Why do you keep lying to me? I dont do nothing but look out for him and all he does is treat me like garbage. So now Im really done, its been weeks since then. I havent spoken to him, Ive been trying to move on. But lately hes been on my mind. I dont want him back but I do want answers. I feel like he owes me at least that. Am I wrong? Should I call him?

View related questions: his ex, lost his job, money, move on, text

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (12 April 2011):

cupidus agony auntIf it's not about the money stop shopping at Walmart and go to Brook's Bros.

Hellloooooo?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 April 2011):

CindyCares agony auntWith all due respect, perhaps you should instead be curious to find out what is wrong with YOU.

He ignores your calls, tells you lies, stands you up, uses you as his personal ATM machine, does anything possible short of wearing a T-shirt with " I am only using you " printed on .

And you keep going back and asking for more- may have have some more shoddy treatment please ?

That can't be much "right" either...

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A female reader, themagentskie United States +, writes (12 April 2011):

themagentskie agony auntYou remind me of my friend. And unfortunately, you're quite blind. But knowing your situation, here's my perspective ; you're gonna end going back to him even if anybody gives you advice. Look, you're his possession. He can sweet talk you, and you drop at his feet. Yes, he'll tell you all the amazing things you'd find amazing & simply perfect. But in all truth, how often is that now that he does? Don't worry about who's wrong or right. Or why he treats you like dirt. You're not gonna get closure with this guy. So this will be ongoing cycle. Delete him from your phone, email, Fb, whatever it is and distract yourself. He's simply a vicious cycle you must break to keep your sanity and to mend an aching heart.

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A male reader, sebaslookingforward Argentina +, writes (12 April 2011):

I suggest you read an article by someone on here: chigirl

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-avoid-being-used-financially.html

This article is some of the best stuff I've ever read

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A female reader, uluvme23 United States +, writes (12 April 2011):

uluvme23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It's not about the money. Money isn't an issue for me because it comes and goes. I just want to know what is wrong with him?

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