A
male
age
,
*hico
writes:I have been using the same hairdresser for nearly two years now. She is very beautiful and about 10-15 years younger than me. I have always appreciated her beauty but never thought more of it until recently. A few months ago, she started asking indirect questions about my private life (I have a very demanding job that requires me to work long hours - how does this affect my family, what plans do I have for weekend, etc). Just typical forced conversations that you tend to have with hairdressers and I thought no more of it. Until, a work colleague suggested that she was fishing to find out whether I was in a relationship and I should ask her out. At first I thought the idea ridiculous but with subsequent appointments the idea grew and grew until I started to see it myself so I asked her out with disastrous results. Now I have lost the best hairdresser I have ever had.The problem is that this has happened to me repeatedly throughout my life. I am attracted to a woman but ignore it and then get the idea into my head that she is attracted to me. I then build up a fantasy in my head which all comes crashing down in the face of reality.Apart from the repeated pain of rejection, the worst aspect of this is that I have lost all confidence in my judgement with regard to women that I am attracted to. If I get the impression that they are attracted to me 'Oh No, here we go again'.How can I stop this happening?Thanks
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reader, chico +, writes (21 September 2008):
chico is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAsk oldersister
Thanks for your kind response.
No I am not married and I am not in a relationship either.
I think you are probably right here. Whilst, she seemed interested in getting to know me (I use 'seemed' as this doubt is at the core of my question)I did not ask many questions about her. She asked me once whether I had kids and I returned the question (neither of us do). I also asked her about her holiday, where she was going (Spain with friends) and whether she enjoyed it (it was a laugh but a different sort of laugh like it is with friends) and she did thank me for asking (twice). You are right it is difficult to get to know somebody when you meeting them professionally (it seems unprofessional) but, with hindsight, the chit-chat to pass the time involved in having your hair cut was an ideal opportunity to do this missed.
Thanks again
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