A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We broke up w my ex nearly 7months ago .. I loved that man w my whole heart and soul .. and I know he loved me too .. we had wonderful relationship but it ended due to family issues.Anyway ... we are not in contact the whole 7 months. I moved away and changed job and so I am not anywhere near him. I even changed the whole friend cyrcle just to get him out of my life completely. Yes, that break up really broke me down ... you can say that.Now .. for nearly 3 months I keep having dreams about him .. i know he is with someone else, that finaly his family approves and even tho (supposely) he is not happy ... he is with her. I keep having dreams .. so alive, its absolutely scary. I always had this thing w dreams, that they can be soooo extremely alive, I for example dream about hitting my head and wake up w blody nose etc ... its realy weird.I need these dreams to stop .. I dont know why I keep dreamingabout him .. I always dream about him, and she is in it too ... I dont remember exactly what happens in those dreams .. but the thing is ... I DONT WANT TO HAVE THEM ... and I do not know how to stop ....
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do love him ... I have always loved him ... and I think I will love him until the end of times ... but I can't be with him and so I am trying so hard to move on and find someone else that will love me same way he did and Im trying to forget ... but it just seems impossible.
Seems like I cant even find another man that I would care for .. or that woudl make me forget HIM ... and it hurts deep deep down, and I know no one can help me out of this missery but myself ... I just dont know how.
And its getting harder and harder every single day ... its funny cause people keep saying .. it will go away w time .. but its getting worst not better ... so where is the truth ???
A
male
reader, jack20  +, writes (6 April 2009):
you answer is in your question. conciously, you feel like you should forget about this guy and move on, which is fair enough because you're trying to look after yourself. However, on a much deeper level, I think you're very much in love with him. Physically, you're separate from him, but is it really possible to fall OUT of love with someone that meant that much to us? Just like yourself and the first poster, my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago as well. Our relationship suffered from similar stresses, like my family not accepting her, even though she was amazing! I've done my best to remain good friends with her but whenever we spend time together I feel like I'm under a spell or something, that feeling that you just know "this is the person for me!", maybe that's what your subconscious is telling you. I think that there are a lot of people that are right for each other, but external factors get in the way. I didn't really post this to give you advice, but just to relate to you, I think maybe you posted this because deep down still love him, I know i still love my ex but it's just going to take hard work and time to heal myself! At least you're strong enough to try and move on, so you'll get there eventually!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): it is because he is probably the last thing you think about before you go to sleep, its your subconscious' way of alerting you to the thoughts you are trying to escape from thinking about during the day. instead they all come out at night. this could mean you havent properly dealt with your emotions regarding the breakup. also part of it could be 'wishful dreaming'. in other words, you still love him and miss him and you wish you could see him again.ive been broken up with my first love for 8 months and what would have been our 2 year anniversary is coming up next month. i keep dreaming about him and the dreams are so vivid that i can feel his arms around me when i wake up. my therapist says its because i wish he was still here holding me and because i miss him so much he is all i can think about before i go to sleep . if you want the dreams to stop, you have to come to terms with the breakup and truly move on. i cant tell you how to do that, only you can heal yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): have you check to see if anything is wrong with him. I have dreams that are strange to. usually something is wrong or something happens, when i have dreams. i can look out and depend that something is about to happen if i have dreams. I had a dream on nite that my aunt got in a car accident, two days later a lady pulled out infront of a big truck in front of my house. so sometimes they are so scary that i will not go to sleep.
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