A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 years old and have a lot of worries at the moment, to list a few:*my dad was made redundant just before xmas, he's trying so hard to get a job but can't, our family arent very wealthy anyway and although my parents always try and stay happy I know they are worrying too.*my dads begun having panic attacks (a few years back when this happened he was diagnosed with depression, and although hes much better now, im worried with everything happening, he'll go back to how he was.*I've recently dropped out of uni as my course just wanted right for me. I know I made the right decision, but i miss all my friends so much, I also miss the independence of living alone, I feel I'm a burden to my family as they dont have much money, I feel I have let them down.*Since leaving uni I have been trying to get a job but can't so I'm worrying about that and my own lack of money.*It will soon be the 5 year anniversary of my grandparents death, they'd dies within a week of each other and both wer unexpected, it was a horrible time for us all (it's what triggered off my dads depression) and im still not over it.*my boyfriends ex girlfriend is getting to me with small comments and childish petty things she does to try and upset me.all of this has built up and really got to me, some changes in me recently are:*I've gained weight (which obviously has upset me even more)*I have no energy, I seem to be tired all the time and sleep a lot during the day, then at night I find it really difficult to get to sleep*I've begun getting stomache migrains again (i first had these when i was 11, the doctor said it was down to nerves and stress, they disappeared for years, but are now worse than ever)*I have thoughts of suicide... although I know I could never go through with this I sometimes wonder what it would be like to die*I also have really bad mood swings, and this upsets me the most because unfortunately I only ever seem to take things out on my boyfriend. hes so lovely and caring and understanding, but I get mad at him for no reason and I hope its not just because im a horrible person, im hoping its something to do with the stress im going through at the moment. I really dont want to carry on like this because I dont want to lose him!!sometimes I can be really stressed out, tense with anger, almost crying and then as soon as he talks to me I become really hyper and forget whats worrying me, and laugh and joke with him all day, then the next day il have a bad day and cry a lot - this has made me worry that i might have bipolar because I know thats a symptom, changing moods.I just want to know what's wrong with me and find a way to stop feeling upset, I don't want to mess up my relationship because of the way im acting...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mr. Sensitive  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 There is NOTHING wrong with you! You are feeling irrational and out of control for completely rational and understandable reasons.We will all have times in our lives that just suck. There's no doubt that this is one of those times for you. Your family is under huge stress, you're reevaluating you future and your career, your relationship is under a lot of strain, you are still grieving for you grandparents, and money is a real concern.None of these are small things! Any one of them could be enough to send some people spinning. No wonder you can't get stable!I mean it. You are going through an incredibly stressful time in your life, and everything you describe points to the need to talk to your doctor. You may well have some justifiable depression and your doctor will be able to help you through that, either with medication or a referral to talk to a counselor. It's not being weak. Really. Lots of people (myself and many others included) have been through times when we just couldn't make it on our own. The smart ones went out and got help. And remember, admitting some weakness doesn't make you bipolar, it doesn't mean you aren't being a good support for your dad. It makes you a better one.Please please please go talk some of this out with your doctor. You have far too much on your plate. Talk to a professional and let them help you take on these problems one at a time, with a clear mind. Let your boyfriend help you look for someone you like. I'm sure he feels worried for you and would no doubt like to help as you start to sort things out.
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