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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I just need to get this off my chest and rant a little and hear back from people...I have an 18 month old son. His father and I knew each other for years but weren't in a relationship when I became pregnant. Things weren't great while I was pregnant, but after his birth we started considering the idea of being together. Being in the "working on things" stage hadn't "worked" because it was unofficial and there was too much gray area so he lied to me more than once about sexting other women from the internet, and two months ago we decided to make things official so that there was no gray area, no confusion, no excuses. He has a six year old daughter (I planned her birthday party which was just last weekend) and we enjoy our time together as a family, he and I just have trouble finding couples time, especially lately. Things were going fine, I still had trust issues with him but he was working on earning my trust back. Then a few weeks ago he helped a friend who is trying to make a movie, some girl there gave him her number and started texting him. He said it wasn't anything, that she had a kid and they were talking about being parents. I let it go because I didn't want to seem like a crazy person. Then Sunday night he gets a text at dinner and I ask who that was and he said his friend "Bob" (name change) and I had seen the screen and knew whoever it was had a longer name than "Bob" and called him on it, he admitted it was that girl and I told him it wasn't smart to lie about that if there's nothing to hide and let it go again. Later that night he and "Bob" were hanging out, but I was suspicious so I sent him a flirty text, not asking who was there or anything, and he responded he was busy drinking with Bob and sent me a pic of him and Bob as if to prove it was just them. The next day Bob posted on Facebook that he had had a good time last night with "all the people involved" and I asked my boyfriend who else was there and he admitted it was that girl, but that Bob had invited her and he didn't know until he got there. I was hurt and upset that he had lied to me and gotten drunk with some other woman, and claims nothing happened between them! Then tonight we were talking and I said I thought he did know she would be there beforehand, what was she texting him about when he lied about her texting him that night if not about seeing him later? and he admitted that saying he didn't know she would be there was also a lie. I can't be with him. I can't trust him. I don't know why he did this. He's ruined our family. I am devastated. And angry that we weren't important enough to him for him to control himself like a damn grown up. I just want to know how to leave him and be strong enough to never take him back because it's happened too much.
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (5 September 2012):
 You built your relationship around having a child together. You can't really stay with someone just because of a child, there has to be more.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 September 2012):
 you can't fix broken honey and this was broken from the beginning.
the only reason you two are trying to make it work is because you have a child together...
better to end it now and not pretend it's going to work in the long run.
Kids adapt beautifully to whatever we hand them in life.. my kids grew up with three sets of rules
a. mom's house
b. dad's house
c. grandma and grandpa's house
they did just fine.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): Try this: This relationship is not working for me. I love u but I can't stand the lies and deceit. My son and I deserve someone in our lives that is trustworthy open and honest. Its obvious u r not ready for a committed monogamous relationship and I'm not going 2 allow u 2 Continue 2 treat me this way. Im worthy of that type of love. I wish u well and I need my space. Don't call, text, email etc I will not b responding. I will do the same. No hard feelings but I can't do this anymore. Hope this helps. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): Let him go he is adventuring out and not serious about your relationship, if he truly loved you and wanted a life with you, he would not have given his number to this woman and neither would he be lying about their meetings. He is willing to risk everything with you over this woman and that is your answer. Its time to let go.
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