A
male
age
30-35,
*gmitch
writes:Hi there,Theres this guy I've been working with. He said to me that he really likes me but because he has a boyfriend and we work together, nothing will happen between us and we would just be friends.I absalutley love this guy. Everything about him is perfect for me. I can't stop thinking about him, everytime I'm near him I get so happy and excited.On monday night I took him out for dinner because he has been going through a tough time work wise and wanted to treat him. He said to me on this night out that he was going to break-up with his boyfriend and he is looking for another job.I wouldn't of thought anything of it until later on that night. We went into the bar we work and he went upstairs to go get his wallet and get some work done. I followed him to say goodbye, we hugged for ages. He properly squeezed me and didnt want to let go. He kissed me on the cheek and then on the lips. We've kissed on the lips before but this one felt different. Before it was just a peck on the lips, but this was a proper kiss. It felt amazing.I've been texting him since but he's hardly replied. My head just feels really messed up. I really don't want to ruin the friendship but I really would love to have him as a boyfriend.I keep telling myself to wait and see what happens but it's getting to the point where it hurts so much, I just want to be with him. Is there any advice?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (5 November 2010):
 he sounds like someone that is giving very mixed signals, people often say they are breaking up with their significant other to arouse sexual interest from another party. however it doesn't always lead to a relationship with the other party, it can often just be the satisfaction of feeding your ego through making others want you.
if he isn't replying to you then you are on a string waiting for him to pull it. this can be frustrating as he holds all the cards. undo this power imbalance by not caring too much and just getting on with life.
if it works out it works out but he sounds like someone who could lead you up the garden path...
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Ok well it sounds like this man likes you as well its just he doesnt want to be caught up in a relationship with a work collegue, also he is in a relationship so try and not to kiss him again until he has finished his relationship because this is not fair on his partner he will end up being the one getting crushed, he probably isnt replying to your texts much because he doesnt want his partner to see the texts.
You just need to be honest with him and ask him were you stand, i no he says he is going to break it off with his boyfriend and find a new job but you need to ask him when he is thinking of doing this because you are falling for him really hard and you want to no if there is a future between the both of you.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 November 2010):
Don't build yourself up to be knocked down.
You know he's going through a tough time and his head isn't running very clear.
While you may be developing feelings for him, you have to control them, but be there for him when things get tough.
It wouldn't be wise to make any moves at this stage because you don't know what sort of a reaction you're going to get.
You just have to see how the land lies, and if he were to make a move, then you're in.
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