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female
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*ngelbbabe7490
writes: I recently broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago. I had realized that instead of being tied down to one person i wanted to enjoy the rest of my high school experience single. Ever since the day i have broken up with him, he hasn't left me alone. I told him that i wanted a break, i needed some space, and that i have so much on my mind that there is no time for a relationship. I have explained to him NUMEROUS times why i want to be single, yet he still seems to not understand. I didn't tell him that i want to see other people but i did tell him that even though i don't have the same feelings for him... i will always care about him. I finally got him to agree with just being friends and i told him that i don't want to hurt him and that it may be difficult to continue a friendship if we both have different feelings towards each other. He sweet talks me and says that everytime he sees my beautiful smile he falls in love with me all over again and that he promises me that we will get back together one day. Not one day has gone by that he hasnt called or texted me and its really started to bother me. What is the point of going on a break or getting space if the person won't leave you alone? He has finally agreed that we don't have to continue our relationship but he still wants to see me and keep it a secret from everyone else. I know that the more i see him the more he ends up liking me. My whole situation has been stressing me out tremendously and i told him this. He insists on giving me a massage, going iceskating or taking me somewhere to relieve the stress. i know that i could handle my stress my own, but it seems like the more he talks to me the more i get stressed out. I know hes a great guy..but im not ready for a husband. I just want to be single right now without the serious commitment. I'm young and i want to see what else is out there. He seems to not understand and no matter how many times i tell how i feel towards him he wont leave me alone. I'm always nice to him and i dont want to hurt his feelings or anything, but maybe im being too nice. He has become too attached and tells me that he is afraid of loosing me and that he thought i was the right one for him. What can i do to make him back off?? I can benefit from anyones advice.. so please help me!! :-(
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female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (31 December 2007):
angelbbabe7490 is verified as being by the original poster of the question THANK YOU EVERYONE!! all of your advice helps. thank you so much for your time and i hope you all have a happy new year :-)
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 December 2007):
 He HAS lost you! You broke off with him! SO, You ARE being too nice. You can't expect him to get over you when in his mind, and in fact, he is always still seeing you. You need to make a clean break from him, for his sake. NO being friends at all. No texting, No going out skating, No phone calls, No contact of any kind at all, period. He will never get over you if you don't put your foot down and stop seeing him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Right now, you are giving him just enough attention that he still thinks he has a chance to win you back. It's obviously not fair to either of you, so you have to be strong and cut off all contact. It's NOT nice, break-ups are not MEANT to be nice, but it IS a break-up and breaking up means NOT seeing each other any more.
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A
female
reader, Whisp  +, writes (30 December 2007):
 TRy not meeting up with him so much if meeting up seems to make ihm worse. after all, if you;re not around he can't try to make you do things. just go out with other people more, spend more time with your friends and make time to enjoy being young and single. say you can't talk much or just try to keep phonecalls short. you can't change how he feels, only he can do that but you can limit how much he is in your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): Firstly, whilst going out did you both say it would last forever? Your ex seems to believe you are 'the one' you need to explain that he will again feel the same with another women, even if he may not think it at this moment.Also inform him you will never forget him. If you find it hard voicing your opinion in person ,as he finds it hard to except. explain via email, instant messaging or text. Slowly you need to start seeing him less,perhaps you could set him up with a friend or an aquantance after his feelings for you have lessend
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A
female
reader, cheryluk24 +, writes (30 December 2007):
 i know exactly what your going through as i had broke up from my boyfriend a month ago and i told him i needed a break to sort myself out and he was the same txing calling me all the time he told me he didnt want to loose me and wants me and everything else i was always being nice to him i suggest you try telling him again u want ur space and that you dont want all the txts and calls if he doesnt listen just be abit harder on him and tell him that u will cut all contact with him i know it sounds horrible but being nice isnt always best hope u get sorted take care and goodluck u can write to me anytime
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