A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 15 years old and i so lonely and depressed in my life im the only child so i have no one to talk to or hang out with i don't get out much because i really don't have any friends i can just hang with (at least good people) every since i turned a teen my life has been depressing and since i don't get out much one day i was looking at women porn and then i saw a gay mens ad and i went to it it was kinda interesting to and now i masterbat to it but i don't feel gay or anything i don't have feelings towards a boy at all i still have crushes on girls but i don't get aroused to them, girls like me all the time but im shy and goofy and i don't give them a chance because i don't get aroused to them and they may want sex i scared to try it and see what happens but if i don't get aroused she'll think im gay and it'll be a rumor on me in school im quiet and kinda goofy but people think im gay because i laugh all the time and never have girlfriends or anything but believe me i want one but scared i can't talk to them all pimpish and stuff how they usually get talked to from boys i wasn't raised like that im nerdy, i don't play sports because im shy i hate when people talk about me i try to shake it but i can't the man word i hate is when peopke say im gay it'll bring me down for a week of sadness in gym its all boys and they play but i don't like to play sports really im more of a game computer like person and i feel left out sometimes i think they believe im gay because i don't really do anything and i laugh all the time people think im just to happy but dats the way i am i don't know if i have shyness or what most times i don't dress out i just sit and watch them play, then i looked back at all my other cousin that are like normal and i get depressed that get aroused to girls they play sports like a normal type boy thats what girl want i can't compete with i feel so lonely everyday my cousins and friends are out having fun but not me my parents don't really do much so i can't go to functions with them o try to go with friends and cousins but i get nervous wondering whats gonna happen or is someone gonna talk about me or something and i tried to stop that but i can't i smart and i be wanting to participate in class but i think don't do it someone might say some about me and i'll get nervouse i feel like someone talks about me each day and it brings me down its hard for teens to let go of that stuff i just feel like i don't fit in i don't belong here im not a normal boy (i wish i was though) i don't even like to watch sports like most boys i feel like sum kinda weired gender that doesn' belong i pray everyday that god would make me a normal boy and to let me get aroused to girls because im nit gay i just masterbat to the porn since i don't get out much i have been porning myself up with with that stuff for three years because im a computer geek and stay at home all the time and i believed i messed myself up on that because of porn someone on this site told me porn was edicting especially gay porn and im tryna stop to put my life back on track because u can aways change im just gonna start checking out the girls i like and sum others and get to know because i can change on going threw puberty ........i wanna know how can i approve my life i try all the time but get nervouse and stuck...what should i do
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): What is normal, im certainly not and i dont think anyone else is. Dont be offended but from what you have writen it seems like your thinking way to much, and dragging up every problem you can think of, just let a load of stuff go over your head. It takes years to be comfortable with who you are, just wait until you get out of the teenage years and it should be much better. As for staying in on the comp all the time and not liking sports, i kno loads of ppl like that. Just let nature work it all out. m x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Firstly if your gay so what. Secondly most 15 year old girls dont want to have sex. They probably think the same way you do. A date doesnt mean sex period. If your friends tell you stories then that is all they are STORIES. Can you imagine if you dated a girl then told all your friends that you had sex with her, how do you think that girl would feel. You are not a recluse or a nerd. I have four brothers and because of that fact i never needed friends. Only problem was i was the youngest by six years. I grew up with my brothers, i never needed friends but by the time i was 14 they had all left home. I was so alone it really got to me. Just started senior and didnt know a single person not even from my old school. Believe me others pick up on that fact to establish themselves and i was never a fighter because my brothers were always there. Just because others find a reason to put you down doesnt mean you have to. There are lots of people in this world who dont play sports. They dont have to prove themselves in the boys shower. J R Tolkien for one, i assume you have heard of him. Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Florence Nightingale. Remember boys talk or girls talk for that matter means nothing in regards to the person you truly are.
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (27 August 2009):
Ok that was the longest sentence in the history of composition. you didnt punctuate once lol.Regardless.Ok, look at gay porn doesnt make you gay, your curious. If your aroused so be it... you are who you are. Sexual orientation is a genetic predisposition bro. Its not chosen so dont say things like, "Give it up, and get back on track"Its not heroine, dont feel guilty at all. and furthermore your so young that you could be bi-sexual or wind up hetero or be homosexual, there is nothing wrong any path you choose. Its what makes you happy. You know, if your happy who cares what anyone else thinks.. what do they matter? Now, as far as social interactions go, its not about being a pimp. Its confidence, and being comfortable in your own skin. I am not a confident guy. I NEVER played sports. And when I was 15 I didnt do anything ever.EVER. But let me tell you this. What you need to do, is find your solace, the one thing no matter what it makes you happy.Say for instance you love playing piano or something. Now playing the piano is a great conversation starter. If you meet a girl you want to be friends with or possibly date start it off, so what kind of music do you get into..and listen, anything she says that you already know, respond to it, feed into like, "Oh yea, there first album was great.." or"They remind me of..."and then slip in, "I have been playing keys for a little while now, actuallly I was going to go see this awesome guy this weeking wanna roll with?"Be casual, be comfortable, and a little bit assertive. let me know if it works for you bro.-iydmpskeep your head up. Trust me life gets better.
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