A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I could really be doing with some help at the minute. This isnt the first time ive posted on here and this is the same problem. My husband and i were going through a difficult time which i can now see improving, the problem is that while we were going through this bad time i met another guy online, we became close, we never met, i never gave hime my real name etc however he has now found out that the info i gave him was untrue. Not only am i riddled with guilt with the wrong things ive done in my life, but im so annoyed with myself for dragging other people into it, now im petrified my husband will find out and we will be back to square one again. Im ashamed of myself for the wrong things ive done on the past two years, one thing im very certain of is that i love my husband my than life itself, but if he ever finds out about somethings it will be game over. I cant do that to him. I beat myself up about this on a daily basis, sometimes i pretend to be ill so i dont have to get up and face my shame. I hate the person i was for a while. I just want a normal family life again. Do u think that is possible? please help? x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Dear Poster
If you want to save your marriage and you want to keep your husband and YOU want to BE HAPPY then I suggest you start LOVING YOURSELF.
Get up and give yourself a BIG HUG; then go stand in front of a mirror and have a good look at yourself; start talking to yourself; okay, get rid of those emotions, if you feel upset or angry with yourself what what you did, shout at the image in the mirror , cry complain do what ever, tell the image how bad and wrong and whatever you feel she was; now when you are finished and you have now told the image in the mirror how you feel and got it of your chest; the image wants your forgiveness; so do what you will do if somebody else is telling you they are sorry; when somebody else ask you for forgiveness with tears in the yes;
you will reach out and hug them; so now reach out to the image and then give yourself a BIG HUG; say to yourself by looking at the image:
"I forgive you, you are free.The past have no hold over me. I am free and ready to enjoy the present and the future".
Repeat this to yourself a few times at least 10x. Then get yourself nicely dressed and start planning things to do.
Repeat the above affirmation for at least 5 days;
You have now forgiven yourself and have set yourself free from any guilt feelings and from the past; don't allow your mind to go back and dwell on it again; should you have any thoughts or feelings about the past coming up in your mind, repeat the affirmation to yourself.
It is very important that you release the anger and the guilt that you are feeling; then allow forgiveness.
Hope this is of assistance; please do try and keep me posted.
Best wishes and start SMILING!
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You were going through a bad time and from what you have written it seems to me like at the time were not getting or receiving any kind of love or affection (if I'm wrong I'm sorry) Now that things are getting better all this crap is making you feel bad but at the time I feel you didn't no what or who to turn to...People look for affection in so many different ways love and sometimes we make mistakes along the way but we learn from them...The worst thing you are doing at this moment is getting depressed about past issues you cannot change, And staying in bed pretending to be unwell is a sign of depression you don't want to face the day.....You have to forgive yourself we forgive others for there mistakes but we stew on our own you have to forgive from within and now things are improving see this as a learning experience hunny...I understand why you feel like you do but nothing is going to change the past and you getting ill over it will only damage your future, Im going to send you some links on depression and self esteem hopefully they can help you get back to you again and then your marriage can and will only go from strength to strength...I hope you have deleted all the information hunny on the computer and got this internet guy out your life....
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.htm
Sweetheart when we feel like this its good to talk it helps to heal if you need a chat message me ok I've been there with depression TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
