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female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf is studying intensely before a major set of exams 2-3 wks from now. My parents are visiting next wk and have wanted to meet him (never have before). Previously, my bf had agreed - even seemed interested to meet my parents.Today I made a career decision that, in the past, my bf said would likely cause us to break up. He didn't know for sure, but he said last month that he didn't think he could handle it, due to ego problems.I told him about the decision, but he refuses to talk to me about it. I just want to know what to tell my parents. I'm so angry and hurt that he'd break up with me over his ego that part of me wants to just dump him preemptively. But I care about him so much - I want to think he'll be able to get over himself and handle my working at a place that turned him down.Is it wrong for me to demand that he talk to me about this, when I know he's busily studying for exams? His schedule won't get much lighter for months, really, and I couldn't just delay the decision, b/c the deadline is in 2 wks.I'm so mad at him. I want to scream at him and make him sorry for being such a jerk. I know that isn't right - I just don't know how not to feel this way. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Monk +, writes (30 November 2005):
He's not interested in you as a serious girlfriend for reasons that aren't clear. When a guy is truly interested in a girl, he'll make time for her, even if it means not sleeping and ignoring his friends and family. Since he's making excuses, he's hinting that he doesn't want to have a serious relationship with you. And a part of you already knows that he's not that interested in you which is why you are tempted to "dump him preemptively." In other words, you know that he's going to dump you, most likely when he finds another love interest.If you must have him, then you need to make some changes. Dress and act sexy and flirtatious. Make it seem as if you don't care about him. Don't go to him, make him come to you. Don't ask him out, just let him know where you're going to be - perhaps a bar or a nightclub. And keep in mind that men love competition with other men. Flirt with other guys. Make your boyfriend sweat a bit. Make him consider the possibility of another man holding you. Take charge and be in control. Whining is annoying and will only distance you from him. If he does return to you, you may find that you're no longer interested in him. Then you'll know how to "not feel this way."
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