A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I hope there is someone out there who can help me out.Basically my friendship with my best guy friend is detraining. About 3 years ago he started university. We would talk every day, via email, skype etc. When he started university he hated it, he would call me all the time wanting to leave, but i told him to stay. He made some good friends in his first year, and we were closer than ever. He always asked me to stay with him, (he would ask me once a week for about a year) but because i wan also at university I found it hard to go and see him as he was so far away. The problems happened in the second year, when he moved in with his friends. There was a girl who he met who he became really fond of. I instantly did not like her as i felt she was leading him on (She had a boyfriend) yet she still flirted with him. As the time passed she became closer to him. Though we were still close I felt it was me making all the effort. About this time last year he told me they had joined this activity thing together, meaning they spent lots of time together, when we would talk he would mention her and the stuff they did, and I can’t lie , I was extremely jealous. I felt he was replacing me. I did not say anything, but all our conversations started with him talking about his life and then ending on his silences. I was extremely hurt. I said to him I could not do this anymore and we both stopped talking or a month. In the New Year i made the effort to get back in contact with him. He was saying how he was going to get in contact with me but he didn’t. Fast forward 6 months later, we were steadily rekindling our friendship and I developed feelings for him, but i could tell she was still a bit part of his life at uni. One day I thought I would surprise him by going up to his uni house (my friend was doing some work up where he is so i took the opportunity). Anyway I turned up on his door, we hugged and said hi. I could see that his friend had been round with all her study stuff there. Then we sat in silence for 15 mins, i noticed for the first time he could not look me in the eyes, so he just stared at the floor. It felt horrible and awkward. I made an excuse and left in tears. (He never saw me cry). Now at the present, she quit uni and he has found another ‘girl’ replacement. We talk once evey 2 weeks. I feel that he treats me like crap but his uni friends get the best of him, the friend i used to know. I miss him very much. Maybe I want too much from him. I just want him to love me as much as I love him, but right now it seems impossible.Any help would be really good, sorry it’s so long
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flirt, jealous, moved in, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): thank you very much for your replies, I think I might just try and keep my distance, i dont know? To 'a reader' your reply did make me laugh, thanks
A
female
reader, Babyjagirlz13  +, writes (5 December 2010):
Awww I'm sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to me and just like you I tried & tried to keep the friendship going as long as possible but in the end I realized that people grow apart. People change and sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it anymore. In my case, my friend just had more stuff in common with his new friends. Maybe it's the same with your friend. Maybe him and his university friends have more to talk about, more time to spend together. Which is still no excuse to ditch your old friends but still. In time your friend will realize in the end who was always there and who always had his back which is you. So in the end it'll be his lost, not yours. Hope I helped & goodluck! (:
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): See if you can make him jealous by spending a lot of time with your own friends and getting involved in new activities.
If you succeed at making him jealous (and that's very unlikely since he can always find a "replacement" for people who are not there to give him what he wants), then you may have a chance at making the bastard realize his mistakes. If you don't, you will be better off because you will have had a good time with your real friends and maybe you'll have made new acquaintances.
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