A
female
age
51-59,
*opelessRomantic66
writes:I've written here before about this guy. We've been seeing each other for about 3 months. During that time he's been recovering from a surgery. We talk 24/7 via phone calls, text, and get together about once a week. Last night, New Year's Eve, we went out and had a great time together as always.At the end of the night, he drove me back to my car, as we had met at a designated place to ride together. He invited me to sit in his car while mine warmed up. We got listening to some romantic songs and talking. It seemed like he might kiss me or at the very least hold my hand, but I got the vibe that he lost his nerve. Earlier in the night, I think he kind of tried to hold my hand, but we were both cold. Also, he was holding his very expensive camera, and a mutual friend caught up with us (invited but spoiling the moment a bit). He's an outgoing guy but kind of shy when it comes to relationships. Several friends we ran into last night thought we are a couple (as told to me by my roommate who was questioned via Twitter DM). I REALLY like this guy, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, as do our friends. Is there something I can do to help him finally hold my hand or kiss me? This feels kinda silly at my age, but we've both been hurt before. Also, he's 13 years younger than me. Could that be putting him off?Thanks.
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male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 I'm glad for you that it seems to be heading in the right direction.
Yea, being jobless for most guys is like a real confidence deflator. With this new info, it makes even more sense that he feels reticent to make a move on you. I admire your patience in recognising this and I really hope things work out eventually, and that you haven't ruled out making the first move.
Best of luck and let us know how it works out.
A
female
reader, HopelessRomantic66 +, writes (8 January 2011):
HopelessRomantic66 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice.
I've decided to give him some more time. He's just recovered from a surgery and getting ready to go back to work around the end of the month. I think it will help boost his confidence to have his breadwinning skills back regardless of which one of us makes the first move. Valentine's day is coming, and it may be a good time to break that ice. I'm seriously considering making that first move.
I told him about friends asking if we're a couple and he laughed it off kind of nervously. However, when he left my place last night, he was the one who grabbed me and hugged me tight. I think we'll get there. I just want him to be on stable ground in his life when we do.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Poor guy, he sounds like me. I always chicken out in a new relationship and have to be kissed first before I can start initiating kisses later. I just don't have the confidence that I can read women well enough to be sure she wants it until she makes it happen at least once. I know that's cowardly, but there it is.
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A
male
reader, cupid_1234 +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I think its just shyness. I was also shy in my first relationship. After many days, we somehow went to a park which was dark and empty. There she sat very close to me and her cheek was facing me with invitation written all over to kiss her. I kissed her once, she didn't say anything and then second and then it went on and on. All the best ;-)
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (2 January 2011):
Yes, the age difference could be putting him off inasmuch as he maybe has too much respect for you, if you know what I mean.
He obviously seems to like you so, as you are the older one, YOU should initiate the kissing-and-what-ever-follows. As one who was in this very situation some years ago, (she was 13 years older) I can guarantee he will be relieved(sorry, not being rude here!) that you made the first move. Go for it!
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