A
female
age
30-35,
*exi suga
writes:hello everybody.just wondering if you could help me with something. i recently got together with this guy after alot of grief. he basically wouldnt get together with me as he wasnt ready to let go of his ex yet. he was more than willing to get phyiscal with him, after all that i decided that i was worth more then that and decided to completly leave him to it. i stopped talking to him for 3 days but he didnt want to... he then decided to give me what i wanted, a relationship, and its been great. he said that the 3 days that i wasnt talkin to him he missed me and realised what i actually meant to him, i thought about it hard and decided to give him a chance. its been about 2 weeks and its going great.however, now the problem is his ex, she keeps getting him to get back with her, shes possesive, and clingy and wont leave him alone. the good thing is though that im not jelous as i trust him completely, but its just annoying now. the other good thing is that he always tells me when she calls, and shows me all the texts she sends him, that allows me to fully trust him. he also shows me what he texts her and sometimes even talks to her on the fone while im there. i told him just to not talk to her but he said he cant do that as they were together for 5 years and he doesnt want to hurt her as he cares about her. he's made it clear to her that he doesnt want her anymore and that they both need to distance themselves but she doesnt take a hint.i just want her to leave him alone and get on with her life and let him with his. how can i make this happen?
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female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (4 August 2008):
sexi suga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfirst of all i dont make him show me his texts or even tell him to talk to his x in front of me... he does this for his own personal reasons... i have never told him that i feel like this about his ex nor have i ever told him to tell me what his conversations with his ex are about... that is just far to clinngyyy and im soo not like that...
i have never told him that i feel like this about his ex coz i want him to know that i do trust him... i even told him he doesnt have to justifie to me anything that happenes between him n his ex thats between those 2
A
male
reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Can you hear that horrible noise? Its the sound of your boyfriend choking because his leash is too tight.
Getting him to show you his texts and listen in on his calls? Come on woman, youre not his mother! Infact, even his mother would be far overstepping the line. You say this allows you to trust him. Can you not see what is so plainly obvious? That what you call trust is nothing of the sort. If you TRULY trusted him you would let him have his calls in private, let him text in private and not snoop around - period. It may irritate you, you may wish to know what he types and says to her but resist the urge, if you can do that then you will have atleast mastered your trust towards him. Eventually deep down you will truly trust him and the urge to spy will die forever, take my word for it. That is all you can and should do, in my opinion.
The rest you see, is up to him. He is big enough to stand on his own two feet and do whatever he pleases, in your presence or otherwise. If he wants you enough he will drop her from his life, if he doesnt then you may find there is nothing left on the end of your leash. Either way youll be better for it.
Trust him, let him trust you and you will both be stronger because of it. Dont slack the leash, CUT IT! Live and learn.
Regards,
x
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