A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've fancied this guy who've i worked with for years... but he's 15yrs older than me. He has a very volatile relationship with his partner and has moved out of their house loads of time. This past year we've got to be really close friends. He's had trouble with his job and I've supported him. We then started sending flirty emails, then texts, and last Friday we snuck off to the pub and kissed. It was amazing and what I've wanted for ages. However, on Saturday his partner found an unsent text on his phone and went mad and beat him up. He came into work today black and blue but still wants us to continue. In reality I know this is not a long term thing but he's getting all serious on me... especially after what happened at the weekend. I just want a bit of fun. my friends say under any other circumstance I should forget it but cuz I've fancied him for years they are telling me to go for it. What do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I agree with Emily. The kind of help this man needs is the type he needs to go to the police about. He is in an abusive relationship and doesn't need to be starting a new one now. Get him in touch with www.ncdv.org.uk also who should be able to give him help, support and guidance. Be supportive but as a friend for the moment then see where things go but i would definately ask him to report this. I work for the police in the Domestic Violence unit and I understand how hard this can be, especially for a man. She should not be allowed to get away with doing this to him nor to get away with it. The Police are now very good with this type of thing and usually have dedicated units to help people in this type of situation. Every force should have a link on their site to help with this type of reporting also.
Good luck xx
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 November 2008):
If he's stuck in a violent relationship then he will be looking for an easy way out as he is going to be very emotionally battered and will want someone to run to.
If he was content to be alone then he would have left her by now.
Find details of a local domestic abuse charities and convince him to press charges against his girlfriend.
But be clear you are not interested in getting into a relationship with him. You can always change your mind once he is a bit more stable and available.
I think you need to back off and be his friend until he gets his life in order.
Good Luck!! xx
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