A
male
age
30-35,
*he badluck clover
writes:ok so my ex and I were in a long distance relationship. I was in love with her and she told me the same. we met in person after a few months and we had a real good time. soon after we got back home to our own places. she broke it off and didn't give me a reason why. I was caught offguard and fell into a depression, I never thought I could hurt like that. its been about 8 months now and I havnt been wit anyone else. was still hurting from the breakup. yesterday she texted me. I replied saying "i really can't talk to you, you broke me and im just starting to get my shit back together." she replied with apologies and such saying that she dated a couple guys and "there all complete assholes and none of em got me like you did" I told her again I wanted nothing to do with her and she again replied she made the biggest mistake in her life and she would give anything to take it back and have me back. ok so what the hell is goin on? I just started gettin my shit back together and she sends me back into a fucked up place. the old pain is coming back. I know that what we had was something I've never experienced before and I will always have love for her but I don't know what to do here. before I was ready to move closer to her, we would talk all night when we where together in person about how we would go places and shit. what's goin on? what do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Well, i could say just follow your heart, but actually everytime i did that I ended up broken hearted, so...
Yes, the rational thing to do would be to not take her back, but what is raional about love, right?
So i suggest you to first find out what you want regardless of the situation. Do you want to be back again with her?
If you want to be back with her, the best way is to take it easy, to play it cool, don't let her know how bronken hearted you were and how sad you've been since she left.
Now, she's the one asking things for you, so try to keep it that way.
I know when we love we just wanna say everything and show our love (im one of this kind) but some people are just so imature, that once they know they've got they seem to freak, and do all the things we all know they do.
Just be nice when she comes to you but play cool, you can say that "you know, life goes on, its been 8 months, that you really think you guys had something special, and that now everything could be different, but maybe you missed the opportunity window..." leave doubt in the air, make her think you are indecised, that u r unsure what to do, and see what happens.
If she really means what she said, and she see that you r unsure, she will do things to get u back.
Let her do all the work.
Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): DUDE WHAT EVER YOU DO! DONT TAKE HER BACK! HOLY FREAKING CRAP, i went through this exact same thing, are you the guy who posted "she broke it off out of the blue" question a while back? well my situation is identical to yours. Dont take her back man ebcause she will do it again.. trust me. Only take her back sometime later on in the future when you are both ready for marriage and live in the same vacinity/city. GOODLUCK
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (11 November 2009):
Keep doing what you're doing. DO NOT TAKE HER BACK! It's too little too late on her part, she should have realized what she had before she let it go. You can do so much better! Don't let her jerk you around like that, she'll want to keep you around again until the next best thing comes along then do it to you again. Don't put yourself in that situation again. Keep working on yourself and date new girls. She's not worth your time, energy, or effor anymore. Her loss.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): i would not get back together, not yet anyway, she dumped you and you need time to heal properly, once you have achieved that (and you are so close) then you will be able to make a decision with a fresh mind.
hold off for now.
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