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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all,I have been with this guy for 2 years now, everything is great, I love him, he loves me, very caring and sweet and I know that if anything he is the only who truly loved me. The only problem is he has already 2 children from a previous relationship,son(6years and daughter 4years old). He has been with his ex for 5 years, but he swears that everything is over between them two. I believe that, I mean we have complete trust, I know when he talks to her regarding the kids, besides she is now with another man and has another child from him. Recently his kids start calling saying they miss him and when he drives them home after they spend a weekend with him, they say they dont want him to leave. I love his kids, they are adorable, but at the same time they are not mine, in them I see their mother. I am scared that they could somehow reunite him with his ex. Although I am sure he does not love her, but there is a fear with the kids, because he really cares for them and he really loves them.Please give me advice, whether there is a possibility that I could lose him.Very soon within a year time we are getting married, so I would want it to be for lifetime/
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2006): No, from the way you decribe your relationship with this man, he will not reunite with his ex-wife, dear. I think you are worrying, overly much. He sounds like a wonderful father to his children and a committed partner to you. Give your man credit for knowing you are his 'special lady'. His children are young, vulnerable and likely a bit confused. Mom is remarried with a new baby. There whole family life as they knew it, has been turned topsy-turvey. They are very young and have many emotional needs that need looking after. As they grow and mature, this will ease up a great deal. But for now, if you give those kids, unstructured and undivided attention when they are with you and their Dad, it will give them a solid base to cope with the world. Just be with them. This is the best gift you can give your bf right now..is learning to love his children and accepting all that there is about him. Yes, they have their Mother in them...but look again and you will the fine qualities of your bf in them as well. It sounds like you are doing this..so relax and don't worry! Take Care dear...and good luck to all of you.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (3 April 2006):
 He obviously loves you very much and you love him too. It takes a lot for someone to accept someone else's children and get on with it. I admire you for that.
As for him going back, I don't think that will happen. It must be hard for him to leave them but he has to accept that the relationship with their mother is over and that's the sacrifice you make when you split up with someone you have kids with.
I think you need to calm down about this; he's obviously happy with you and she probably is with her new partner so just enjoy the time you have with the kids and the time you spend alone together.
I hope this has helped. I know it must be hard but be strong, you obviously love him a lot.
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