A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few years ago I was in a serious relationship with a guy, I was in love with him and he made out he was in love with me and serious about me we were together for 3years. anyway things changed and he seemed distant from me I always asked what was wrong but he never wanted to talk to me anyway with no explanation and him getting more distant and rude to me I left him though I was very upset about it. 2 weeks after we split I went to his and we made love he knew I wanted to work things out and we met up regularly one night after sleeping together I looked in his phone which I had never ever done before but I had a strong feeling that he was hiding something. I found messages from a girl saying she missed him and wished he was with her. The number was foreign and I soon realised that he had met this girl while he was on holiday whilst being in a relationship with me. This totally messed me up I felt so used all this time I was still seeing him and sleeping with hiM and trying to work things out and he was doing this to me?I screamed at him we argued and I left I tried to call him for an explanation and answers but I didn't get very far. So I left it and moved on though I have never really gotten over it maybe because I didn't get to talk to him or get answers I didn't get closure I'm not sure. Anyway I am now with someone else and I am happily engaged to him about a month ago I saw my ex whilst out with my fiancé he had the cheek to come behind me and say hello as if nothing had ever happened I wanted to scream at him for doing what he done to me and not answering my questions as I felt that was the least he could do. But I didn't react like that as I didn't want my fiancé to think anything so I was professional even though I wanted to tell him to get lost. As I stood there I listened to him telling me about his life and his travelling I introduced my fiancé to him and cut the conversation short and said bye. Although I was angry to see him act as if nothing had ever happened and he hadn't broke my heart I was so happy he had seen me move on with a gorgeous charming man and left satisfied feeling happy as I saw hecwas upset when he knew I was seeing someone and was engaged. I felt like I had closure and felt like ha ha shame you lost this now someone else had it. Then yesterday the real crap happened I had a terrible argument with my fiancé and I was really upset we were in the car and I was crying. We were at the traffic lights and I happened to look at the car next to me and it was my ex driving a sports car. Now I don't care about the car but I just hate the fact that he saw I was unhappy with my new man. I felt so happy with how things were left and now I just feel like crap. I wonder what he was thinking and I just can't get him out of my head I don't miss him and I would never even condider getting back with him but for some reason I am so upset that he saw me like that.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 February 2010):
This is because you were in way looking for some revenge to make him feel bad. They say that if you look for revenge you need to dig two graves, one for the person you want revenge on and one for yourself in case it comes back to you. That sounds extreme, but it's true. If you hadn't spoken to your ex, you wouldn't have been bothered the other day when he saw you unhappy. You were bothered by it because you felt so elated at him having seen with you new man when you were happy, that when he saw you upset you felt the exact opposite. The truth is, he probably doesn't give a damn since he didn't give a damn about you before.
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