A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently in a very annoying and awkward situation. My boyfriend of 3 yrs, whom I have an infant with, and my best friend of 3 yrs were caught red-handed, by me, this morning making sexual advances at one another in my freakin garage!! I saw what they were doing and heard it. When I realized what was going on I busted in the door but they had already "cleaned the mess up". I asked both of them for a least an hour if anything happened and finally, my boyfriend fessed up to pretty much everything but sex with the bestfriend. Not only can i never trust either one of them again..I have a child to think about. The bestfriend was kicked to the curb but it's a little harder to deal with someone that you share a child with. Someone please help me because I'm lossing strength here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Given the choice, which you have, between putting up with the distrust of this 'man' (boy)and living with the memory of what he did to you and your child, or removing him from your life (apart from child contact - minimal)....which sounds like the most appealing prospect? Lets face it you will never trust him again, will always be looking over your shoulder in case. He's an idiot and will never respect you anyway if you hold onto him - he will have just got away with it. Do the right thing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): If a man would steep as low as to do that with your best friend then you REALLY do not need him in your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Wow, I am really sorry this happened because I know deep betrayal like this and it hurts and hurts a lot.Don't let this guy use you any longer, three years is a long time to be with someone and all he is after all that time is a baby daddy, no marriage, no ring, no great job I bet....and now he is making time with another woman who claimed to be your best friend...it's dispicable really.He doesn't sound mature enough or has the strength of character to be a father or a good partner in life for you.You absolutely deserve better and settling for his bad behavior will just give him permission to keep on doing it.I agree, file for child support and ask him to move out of your freakin' house and change the locks including the garage opener code.Set up a court ordered visitation plan so he knows what is expected of him and how things will be handled between the two of you and when and where he will be spending time with his child.Take care.
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A
female
reader, CatherineA +, writes (11 July 2010):
Sandman is correct. It's over -- your best friend is now your ex-friend, and your boyfriend is now your ex-boyfriend. DHR should be able to give you guidance with regard to child support, which you MUST do for the sake of your child. Even if you think you can get by without it, don't forget that it belongs to your child, and can always be banked for the child's education.Don't look back, or you deserve whatever you get. This isn't the kind of situation that gets better.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (11 July 2010):
 I'm sorry this happened to you - but now is the time to be stronger than ever.
Your bestfriend showed you just how much of a friend she really is. Your boyfriend showed you just how much of a boyfriend he is. You don't need either of them. While your bond between your boyfriend is different because of the child you share together, this doesn't mean you HAVE to stay with a cheater. You can still share the load of raising the child without "being" with him.
Now is the time to be strong for you and your child. All of your decisions should be with the consideration of your child. Staying with a cheating boyfriend doesn't make you feel good nor does it do anything positive for the child.
My advice would be to begin the process of child support. It may take a long time before he begins making payments but I can assure you that it WILL be okay. You are better without him than you are WITH him. He may never pay, and you're still okay. Start your future without him. Get yourself in a positition to take care of both you and your child. A man who will love you, respect you and never cheat on you is waiting to find you - but he won't be able to see you if you're tied up thinking about this loser of a boyfriend. Let him go. You deserve better.
Start getting your life in order and I guarantee that everything will begin to fall in place.
Hope this helps.
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