A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i just recently married. He is away for a year(legal reasons) and i am lusting for another man. i want to pursue but i love my husband. i dont think i can go a year without sex. would it be so terrible to pursue an affair? what do i do?? how can i get through this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): I am so glad we helped! And i'm sorry not to have gotten back sooner.. you weren't listed in my followups.
Goodluck with next year. we'll be going through it together in a way, so message if you need an extra boost!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): i am married to a very sexually null wife, and my sex drive is very very high, but i never cheated on her because i love her very very much and i am trying to solve this problem with her and so masterbation is a very big releif for me. i watch porn and release it,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): thank you. i know i would never forgive myself if i had an affair with this guy i hardly know. im not an army wife, just a young woman who fell inlove with an illegal immigrant. i love him and i know he would never look at another woman in the way he looks at me. love is love. i just needed to hear it for someone who doesnt know me. once again THANK YOU for your advice. you really helped me out. ps- i have a great vibrator-- i might as well take advantage of it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): Of course it would be horrible to pursue an affair. Masturbate please.. don't cheat. you will regret it probably for the rest of your life. Think of all the women out there who are sexually deprived for the good of america.. (myself). Be stronger than that. Let your love override your sex drive. He is going a year without sex as well, remember. You can do it together. What if you saw that your husand posted the same question on a site.
"please help. i jsut got married but i will be separated from my wife for a year! I don't think i can go a year without sex and there is a woman i've been lusting over!! Is it so bad if i cheat on her?"
What would you tell him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): How do you get through this? Using self-control, a ton of self-restraint, and getting a grip on yourself by remembering, that if you screw around, you risk a lot of pain, sorrow, and heartbreak and why? All because you desire a few self-involved orgasms. Which in my books, is sad because marriage is a 'we' thing not a 'me' thing. If you don't think you can resist boinking some other guy, then that tells me, you aren't too committed nor mature enough, to ne married. So my advice: If your hormones get the better of you...why not visit the local "sex shop' or go online and purchase a few toys, that will help you through this. And maybe look at getting the legal issues cleared up, or finding a way where you can get to visit your husband...to take care of 'business' so to speak. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Objectivist Thinker  +, writes (26 April 2009):
It depends on your veiw. First of all, you need to figure out where you both stand on this issue, preferrably by talking to yourself and him about it. If you are going to keep it secret, then absolutely don't do anything like this at all. It creates a rift between you, that, while probably not even visible to him, would be visible to you, and it WILL slowly eat you alive. I know I am young and from your veiw, probably, I do not understand anything like this, but I do thing it would be wrong. Sex is an expression of the highest human values and morals. Do you really want non-comittal relationships destroying a perfectly good, serious one?
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