A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for 6 years and I just recently found out that he is bisexual because I found his ad that he put on craigs list to be bottom/host. He loves to play on the computer when I am sleeping alot. I love him and I know that he loves me to. He says that he is satisfied with me and he will never cheat but I am very uncomfortable about this whole situation. I am also bisexual but he knew this when I first met him,but he felt the need to not tell me about him.CONFUSED!!!
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Well it's either Bye-Sexual or Hi-Sexual.
Everyone's got their undies on the counter, how to proceed.
If you both consider your health will come first, this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Than
Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.
Talky time.. enjoy the disclosure with zest and an open mind.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Whoop! Red flag. He is posting for sex, high-risk in terms of HIV and other STDs if he wants to be the bottom, and expects you to be okay with an apology? This would not be okay and would not be something that can be forgotten. Obviously, he's not been truthful with you about his sexuality and has posted to find sex partners. I would definitely take a break and I would insist on couples counseling and individual counseling.
You refer to him as your fiance, do you have a date set and is there extra pressure on him that would cause him to 'act out' in such a risky and dangerous way? I mean, people get beaten and murdered meeting people on these type of online ads. Not to mention who knows what STIs he might be bringing back to you as a memento of the occasion.
I would stop the sexual contact with him until you both have been tested and certainly enter into couples counseling if you want to save this relationship.
I'm sure you are very upset and confused right now but you have to protect your health, both physical and emotional, so try to focus on the steps you should take to tackle all the issues this has raised.
I expect he won't be cooperative in this as he is likely very ashamed and upset that he was found out.
Somethings not right here and you can't go back to pretending everything is fine.
Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 I don't think your biggest concern here is that he is bisexual, but rather that he is cheating on you. He is putting up adds to participate in sexual games, that is cheating. That is why you are feeling uncomfortable about it. Would it have been ok if he was putting up similar posts aimed for women?
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A
male
reader, Moon_Child  +, writes (5 May 2011):
I believe relationships should be based on trust. The fact that he neglected to tell you something so important about himself is worrying. And the fact that he posted an ad about himself-not promising. I think you should confront him about it and ask him why he wasn't open with you from the get-go. Se what he has to say for himself and then consider what you want to do next. You don't throw away a good, long, committed and loving relationship for nothing.
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