A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just need some advice. I am married to my husband who is almost 28 years older than me. Dont think other things, i do love my husband very much. We dont have child, but i do 2 from the first relationship and he got one from his first marriage. We are actually ok. The things is after nearly 10 years together, i just found out that he dont really love me. He just need me because he is going to need somebody with him because of his age. He is going to need somebody with him to take care of him. And this is a shock to me, knowing the person i love to death is not having the same feeling as i have. I dont wanna go, i dont wanna leave him. Thinking of leaving him is already killing me. By the way I find out the secret of him by his own hand via mistaken email. Its hurting me so badly. I dont know how i will deal with this situation, i dont wanna ask him about this at the moment, i dont wanna hear the truth from his mouth, its enough that i read it. Its already enough hurt. I just dont know how i am really going to react now. Everyday im going to see him, to be with him and inside of me i know he just need me. This is really hurt.. I just dont know what to do now. There is no way im going to leave him because i do love him. How can i find a strength inside of me. How i can do this? Please help.. just advice. please critisism, i dont need it now. Thanks.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 Are you sure you haven't misunderstood or overreacted ?
Every phrase takes a different meaning according to its context.
Saying " I am so glad knowing that I can count on my younger wife for help and support in my old age " is very different from saying " I married her ONLY because I wanted an unpaid caretaker ".
When you got married your husband must have been at least 55, right ? and it's normal that when a man his age marries someone 30 years younger, ONE of the positive factors he takes into account is the advantage of having a younger, healthier, stronger , devoted companion 30 years down the road. Why, what do you want him to plan for when he's 85,- wild nights of steamy ,passionate sex ??
It's very different, then, if he married you ALSO thinking that you'll take good care of him if and when he'll need it ( after all, that's what marriage is about : taking good care of each other ) or ONLY and exclusively for this reason .
So, again, are you sure you are not giving to his words a negative spin that was not meant to be there ?
A
female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (10 June 2011):
You have one of two choices - to stay with your husband knowing what you do or to go while you are still young! Your husband must have some feelings for you to hang around for over 10 years - maybe just not on the same level as you. But, heed the advice of from Anonym12345 and that is to make certain you have all the facts. Then I suggest you two sit down and have a much needed talk about the email and where you two are going in your marriage. That will clear the air and you can then decide just what you want to do. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Hi there, what do you mean that you found out by e-mail?
What specifically did the e-mail say.
Without making a decision on what advice to give yet - it is important to rule out any mis-interpretation of the e-mail.
If indeed what you say is a factual thing, you have no choice but to confront him. Or is it possible that he does love you and you have mis-read something?
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