A
female
age
41-50,
*ennyd
writes:I have just found my boyfriend on a gay website and on a dating website. We have been together for 6 months and we are very close and he's really close with my 2 kids. I have asked him about this and he says he didn't set up the gay 1 and that he hasn't been on the dating 1 since we met. But i know different cos I hacked in to see. On both sites there have been recent activity. Not a lot and nothing outrageous. just a few messages sayin "how u doing". He says he's had his emails hacked n thinks that someone else is using them, so he's changed email addresses and deleted all the profiles. He swears he's never cheated and that its not been him on the sites. He says he loves me and wants to be with me and only me and does seem genuinely freaked at the idea of us splitting up. Sex has always been frequent with us and really good. We've always tried to talk to him about fantasies, etc and he gets really shy about it. I want to believe him, but should i? Please help me :(
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female
reader, pennyd +, writes (5 December 2012):
pennyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much to everyone for their help and advice. This relationship means a lot to me purely because of the way we are so close and get on so well. Over the last 6 months we have never had an argument. We talk about everything and anything. Even with all of this mess, we still haven't argued or said a bad word to each other. We talked again last night, and I told him i wasn't sure if I believed him or not about being on the sites, but I did believe that he hadn't actually physically met up with anyone or cheated on me. He said he would do anything to regain my trust and so we have decided to put it behind us and hope this is the end of it all. He has also been warned though that if it was him on the sites and he does it again, its over, and that I will make him wish he had never been born!!! Thanks again for your help. This is a great site and I will definitely be back! Hopefully not posting problems though :)
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (4 December 2012):
 hi
Very odd sounds as though somebody is sh*t stirring here. Its the fact they have YOUR email and have sent photos and a link for a Gay site to you thats worrying.
I don't doubt he is telling the truth at all but at the same time there isn't much anger or curiosity here,that a mystery person is deliberately causing problems and has your contact details.
If it was me and my fella I would want to find out how they got this info and who it is.Its a bit spooky.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (4 December 2012):
 It's very odd. You say you have no interest in his past but do you know whether he has an ex who either loves or hates him enough to try and sabotage your relationship?
How did this person get your email address? That's a bit creepy ... I guess if someone hacked his email they'd be able to get your email address. Creepy.
He must know more than he's telling you. You're right to be asking him questions.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 December 2012):
 Things that make you go hmmm..
She somehow KNEW your e-mail address and mailed you old naked photos of your BF and when you didn't react she sent you a link to a gay dating site..
Normally I would think your dude has way to good explanations, but I would guess that the one on the dating site WAS his - as he met YOU on there - there was nothing suspicious on it and the one on the GAY website - well honestly, I think the chick with the naked photos created that to cause drama.
One thing though, he said they only "chatted" yet she has naked photos of him - so there is more to that story.
I would simply talk to him and block her e-mails.
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A
female
reader, pennyd +, writes (4 December 2012):
pennyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the email was made t look like it was from amale as it was signed David. I asked him about it as soon as I got it and he said he'd sent them years ago to wot he presumed was a female as they never met. He thought they'd been saved on the computer and maybe their partner had just found them and thought they were recent. Seemed plausible enough to me, so it was never mentioned again. I have no interest in his past. Then the 2nd email came with a link to his apparent gay dating page. Definitely pics of him on there. Some of them were the ones from the 1st email
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 December 2012):
 oh who is this girl and how does she have your email.
if you had just caught him I'd be sure he was on them and he was lying to you but the fact that a third party is getting involved seems a bit odd.
does he know she emailed you? what does he say about it?
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A
female
reader, pennyd +, writes (4 December 2012):
pennyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe reason I started lookin was an email I received with 5 naked pics of my boyfriend. They were obviously taken years ago, so I just put it down to some sicko. Bf said he sent them to a girl he was chatting too years ago. The following weekend I got another email from the same person with a link to the profile on the gay website
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (4 December 2012):
What made you suspicious enough about this guy to go looking for evidence?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2012): I really dont know whether he is telling you the truth or not but I do know hacking into computers is on the rise all around the word. My company has fallen victim to email hacking and bank account hacking in the last month so I know it happens. I would give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was just curious. He sounds like a decent person. Lots of people get shy about telling fantasies, its very personal and revealing but doesnt mean he is gay. Anyway good luck..
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