A
female
age
30-35,
*ella.mia
writes:Ive been talking to this guy from ireland on msn for about 7 months and im really in love with him. He told me he really wants to come see me and that hes saving up to see me. I never btw pushed him to come visit me it was all him and his idea. I thought he was serious because he really liked me and told me this all the time. He just made me feel amazing, but as great i feel when i talk to him,when he goes offline i feel like someone has shot me in the heart. Of course he has to go offline but its just that im so in love with him that i could talk to him all day.I even sometimes would cry over this,i know its nuts but i cant explain it. Hes everything i ever wanted in a guy.. tall,Irish,dark hair,piercings,guitarist,great personality,funny.. Now i know some of the comments im going to get back are 'how do you know he says what he is' well firstly ive seen what he looks like on webcam and as for him being a musician i see pics all the time on his facebook with his band so yeah hes a musician.I've never liked a guy so much as i like him. So my problem lays here, last night i went on his facebook and out of my knowledge it says on the side of he screen that hes in a relationship with this girl. ive been on his facebook before and it never said this, so i know it must be recent. I am so annoyed that its not even funny. He could have told me that hes got a girlfriend now, since he tells me he thinks about me all the time and that he cant wait to see me and that im everything hes ever wanted.I looked at the girls pics and she ugly as hell but i guess shes a singer from the looks of things in her pics, so i cant compare with that because im not a musician. I feel like an idiot. I cant stop crying over this. Now, i know that its not real and that it was just an internet thing. But i honestly thought that in the future it was going to be more than that. I thought that when he came to see me our feelings for one another were goin to be so much stronger and then eventually maybe we would be together someway somehow id move to his country or he'd move here. I know its really far fetched but that's how i felt because hes everything i ever wanted. Ive never met anyone like him before and when i say that i mean in real life.. And its not like im some ugly girl that can only talk to guys from the internet, no that's not true im actually attractive and i have guys after me all the time. But i want nothing to do with them because i just end up comparing them to this guy because i feel we will be together someday.Im just going to say in my defense that i know its crazy im crying over a man that ive never met before but we talk everyday about everything and anything. When im having a bad day from work or whatever, i talk to him and he makes me feel much better. I think about him all the time, and i don't know how to stop this feeling? why am i so wrapped up in this guy when now i can see the light and that he's not the man i thought he was who lied to me. I want to delete him because i know its unhealthy but i always think about him..what is wrong with me ive never even met him in person i feel nuts. Should i confront him about this? or should i just delete him? I just saw this last night so im still really hurt. i woke up this morning and the first thing i thought of was this whole situation, i dont want to think about it . it just makes me sick,im hurting so much and i feel like im never going to meet a guy like him in real life. That's why i like him so much too because as much as my life is shitty sometimes i know that i have him,and that i feel better talking to him.we even go on web chat sometimes. Im just feeling so sick and im 20 and feel like im never going to find a guy, honestly im really shy and have a hard time going to the next level with guys.. how can i get over him and stop thinking so much?
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facebook, has a girlfriend, msn, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (1 January 2010):
 How do you know that YOU are not the girl he considers himself to be in a relationship with?
Why don't you just ask him about it?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): Hello im sorry to hear that things arent working out quite as you had hoped with this guy. It is unfair of him to string you along with promises, when hes obviously been busy finding himself a partner in Ireland. I fear you have fallen in love with an idea not the person. This can be easy to do when you are shy. It must be far easier to get home and pour out your thoughts and feelings to a dream date on a pc, much easier than connecting with `real` guys face to face. But that is what you should be trying to do. Thus far youve carried on a `relationship` with someone youve never met, whos there when you want him and gone when the pc is turned off, leaving you free to do as you please without the constraints of a normal relationship. You can day dream about what might be with this guy but its not a proper nuts and bolts relationship. I dont think this guy has ever regarded it as more than a flirty, affectionate friendship. Hes enjoyed chatting to you and probably would go and see you at some stage but he isnt that interested. If he was keen to make you his partner, he would get to you come hell or high water! He wouldnt be making relationships with other women, would he. Im sorry to say this but it might be time to give him up as boyfriend material and just enjoy an online friendship with him. And try a few dates with `real` guys face to face that you can interact with properly. They may not all be cool musicians but i think a regular guy thats there for you, in person, will make you a lot happier.
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A
female
reader, moca17  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 girl he aint even worth it move on i know its hard but you got to let go i've been through this before and its only going to bring you drama and make you look stupid cause he's with her and not you that make you look like a side line but hey thats on you if u want to take thi advice wish u luck girly
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (31 December 2009):
No - you are not nuts, crazy, or stupid.Maybe a little naive, but you're young enough that you can afford that!This man treated you poorly, but to be honest, he very well may have a very reasonable story. It is entirely possible that he had every intention of following through with meeting you and developing a real relationship just as you have anticipated, and got surprised and sorta sideswiped by this new thing. Life happens.First off, were I you, I would ask him directly about it. This will likely be a difficult conversation, however, you deserve some closure, and hearing his side straight from the horse's mouth will give you that closure in a way that nothing else can.Next, I would say that you need to get involved socially. You need some close friends that you can talk to and laugh with, and cry on. These sorts of friendships take a long time to develop, but they are an amazing comfort in times of pain like this.Getting your mind off of it as much as you are able is the only real soloution. The old cliche' addage that "time heals all wounds" is actually true, but you need something to helop numb the pain while father time does his work.A hobby, a social scene, some good books, hell, even video games. Something that can grab the attention of your waking mind as much as possible, thus allowing you to return to a normal functionality on a day to day basis.In the mean time, it sometimes helps me to remember that I am not the only hurting person, and that other hearts are bleeding too. It doesn't help numb the pain, but there is a sense of a lessening of the lonlieness that can give me strength.Insofar as meeting "someone" don't try. These things cannot be forced, and rushing romance along is a recipe for disaster. Go about becoming happy, secure, and self aware by yourself, get involved with others on a social level, and when you are ready, you will stumble across someone who will absoloutely take your breath away!Father time will take good care of you. All you have to do is survive while you wait.
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