I just feel like there is someone else out there for me

A male age 36-40, *reatguy writes:

I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now. we recently got "engaged" on christmas eve of last year. i'm gonne start off by saying we're both not perfect in anyway shape or form. when we first got together she instantly told me about all her past boyfriends and infatuations. she told me that before her ex- boyfriend went off to the army she implied or insinuated that she would wait for him. then she met me. shortly after we got together she didn't waste anytime telling me about all her past boyfriends and guys she had been extremely infatuated with. at first it was cool cause it really liked her and wanted to give it a try. but it took her about 4 or 5 months to let this guy know that she wasn't going to wait for him and that she found somebody else. she said it would be to hard for the both of them because they had way to much history. she said she didn't want to hurt him like that. she just couldn't do it. but she didn't realize that it was really hurting me. she even set up several times to talk to him and let him know what was going on. oddely it had to be times when i wasn't their. which i got over. after that we decided that we'd move on from that situation. the next few months after that were rocky and i couldn't just forgive and forget because it pierced my heart deeply. i felt like she liked me but she was leaving her options wide open. a few months after that i broke up with her and i just left didn't call which was stupid. it lasted about a month. we then got back together cause i felt bad about the way i left and obviously i cared about her a lot still. so we got together and she started having problems with her mom. she was 23 and living with her mom so we got an apartment together which probably wasn't the greatest idea. we'd argue and even though this situation happened but once it hurt to because of the stuff that happened before. we got into an arguement and we both weren't speaken to each other. she went into our bedroom and texted one of her guy friends and then deleted the message of her phone. i don't know what it said and i wasn't really care that she texted somebody on her phone. what aggrivated me was the fact that she went and hid then texted another guy. we got through that. then things seemed to get better. i thought i was in love with her again so i proposed to her. i made sure to make it nice and remantic like it had done countless times before. candles and since it was christmas it put on soft christmas music and i proposed to her. a month later things started to get really rocky. it got to the point where we were like room mates who slept together and slept in the same bed but we didn't talk. finally we got through that month. then things seemed to get better. we had little arguements here and their like every couple will find out will inevitably happen because were human and every person in the entire world is different. they have their own ideas and feelings. anyway, we seemed to move on from that but every time we just swept it under the rug and moved on to something else. then one day we were argueing and spatting at each other (not actually spitting on each other that's discusting). when she came to give me a ride home from work, i was waiting on a friend to get off work shortly after me. we were sitting in her car. both calm and collected and she looked at me and ask, what happened to the kind sensetive guy i used to know and why don't you trust me. of course since we were pretty much picking at each other all day i said well go find him . which was wrong but i didn't think before i spoke. we swept that under the rug to but not before we pointed out both of our feelings like everytime. she doesn't really like me friends that much. she's hung out with a few of my friends with me but if they were well off then she seems to not want anything to do with them. which is fine i guess. now i just feel like theirs someone else out their for me. i want to leave but i love her but i'm not in love with her and havent been for a long time but i always thought if i just treated the best i could and be the best boyfriend i can be which is me. maybe things would get better but i still feel like leaving. am i crazy or do other people see things either the same way or similar to the way i do. somebody give me advice because more and more i just feel miserable.

View related questions: broke up, christmas, got back together, her ex, her past, move on, roommate, text

Reply to this Question

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (19 June 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Nicole.velasquez  +, writes (19 June 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, alishamarie08  +, writes (19 June 2009):

1 2 3 4 5

<-- Rate this answer