A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met an old flame a month ago in a club and he texted me to see if we could meet up again. I played hard to get because he has messed me about in the past. Anyway I gave in and let him come round. We just chatted, he said he had changed and we were civil. Every day he texted and about a week later, he came round again and we chatted again, nothing happened. Again, he texted everyday and then about a week later he came round and we ended up having a passionate kiss which was really nice. After this a didn't hear from him for 3 days until he left a phone message saying sorry he wasn't ignoring me but he had been busy. After a few days I missed called him. He then texted to say could he come round. I said yes. He was 30 mins late and he texted to say he was on his way but stuck in traffic. Then he never showed up. I rang him and he said he was sorry he was just tired and had gone home. I ended up dumping him for the 5th time in 4 years. Why pursue someone and then stand them up? Do guys do this on purpose to make you dump them?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 February 2008):
 Hi,
There is one easy way to end this. Change your mobile number. He's a guy who is unable to commit himself to anything, he is wasting your time and will not change.
You should have learnt after dumping him once, but fair enough everyone deserves a second chance, but 5 times! How can you think that he would change?
I have a girlfriend who was dating someone exactly like you explained, he was a nice guy but he never arrived anywhere on time but more often than not would just never show up. She dumped him , but only once. That was enough for her. As I said , he was a nice guy - I met him, we got along great, but he was lousy boyfriend material as he only thought of himself.
This guy will keep coming back, let's face it girls will hardly be falling over themselves to hook a commitment phobe, so he always goes back to someone he knows with a bit of sweet talk will take him back.
So tell him life's too short, you have your's to live and he can live in his own little universe.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (14 February 2008):
 He sounds flighty. Some guys don't know what they want, they blow hot and cold and leave you confused. I also think dearkelja was right -- he's committment phobic. I wouldn't give him the time of day ever again. He hasn't changed. But you sure can.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 sounds like a classic committment phobia. Or maybe he's a masochist who loves being dumped. Either way, he is not someone you should give a 6th look at.
And to be honest, I do think that sometimes men treat you bad so you do dump them. These then are the same clowns that call and cry on the phone about how sorry they are and give them another chance. Five chances is enough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): My missus says to tell him to sod off. I couldn't agree more!
Phil
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