A
female
age
36-40,
*hulu
writes:i like this guy where ive been working on and off for about 3 years, ive liked him for about a year now. i just melt when i see him and he just makes me laugh all the time. it seems also that he finds it easy to talk to me and i managed to cheer him up at work a few weeks back as he was feeling a bit low and grumpy. but since then hes been happy and cheery, his normal self. but i just dont know how to get him to notice me or even if hes actualy interested. im too shy to say anythig or to ask for a drink out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): In my experience, men are really stupid when it comes to dating. He will not notice you in the way you want him to if you don't spell it out -whether through speaking your mind, or through subtle guidance.
I know it is difficult, and there is a possibility of rejection, but speaking your mind is a valuable life skill. I have a few suggestions on how you can go about:
1. Tell him the whole truth, how much you like him, whether face to face, or in a letter. I think the idea of saying it was a bet if he rejects you, is actually a good tip, because, like I said, men are stupid, and will probable believe you.
2. Ask him out: Start of with drinks, then maybe some activity like mini golf or bowling. Being active together means creating expriences and mutual interests, and it is a good way to overcome awkwardness.
3. You were there for him, so allow him to be there for you as well. Confide in him about your problems (but be careful not to overdo it, being too needy might scare him of). You deserve some attention from him as well, since you were there for him when he needed you. Make yourself count, remember, friendships/relationships are a two way thing.
4. Always make him believe that everything you innisiate was his idea. Men enjoys being needed and wanted. After going out together, tell him how much you enjoyed being with him, and how much he adds to your life. Even though you are the one taking control, make him feel like he is actually the one who called the shots.
Good luck, hope this helps!
A
female
reader, tryin2helpu  +, writes (8 August 2008):
 go for it. that worst thing that happens is he says no. which i doubt will happen. haha in middle school my friends use to ask out guys and if they would say no then the girl would say its a dare anyway lol
anyway good luck,
maybe hes waiting dfor you to make a move. just ask him out for drinks
keep me posted
xoxo
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