A
male
age
41-50,
*orcerer
writes:I'm a guy that has been in love with my female best friend for three years. Met her four years ago and at the time she was with a boyfriend for five years who left her and ripped her heart out. I was there for her (NO alterior motives, I didn't feel that way for her then). We became very good friends and she tells me I am the best friend she has ever had and I mean the world to her. When I was considering moving away last year she fell apart and couldn't stop crying. She regularly tells me she loves me, often snuggles up to me on a sofa, hold hands or links arms when walking and loves spending time with me. I know she doesn't think of me in any other way than as a best friend. I try and get these felings out of my head but can't. She is perfect for me, everyone says so, everyone thinks we should be together (a lot of people think we are). We have both dated other people but no one has ever given me the spark she has.I can't go on like this. The trouble is I just don't know how to move on. The thought of her not being my best friend is terrifying but I also know that I don't think I can keep seeing her and putting myself throught this much more. We see each other regularly because we have a couple of shared interests so the only option to me seems to be moving away, but then I will be totally on my own without any friends nearby (I have LOADS here, am truly lucky) and I will just spiral into depression (I suffer from it occasionally).I just can't imagine life without her in any form but I don't think it's possible to just stay friends now. And I'm scared what that means, because I have SO tried to get over her and see her as little as possible but she even emails me several times a day and texts at weekends. PLEASE help.
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female
reader, TaylorNicole  +, writes (15 March 2010):
I was going through the same thing as you. I had a best friend that I met 3 years ago and we been best friends from the start. He is always there for me and I love him to death. But in the about 2 years ago I started to like him. I couldn't tell him because I was scared it would ruin our friendship. I finally told him and he felt the same way. We dated for 4 months and realized that we weren't meant to be. He is still my best friend this very day and I found a great guy that I have been dating for 7 months. Tell her how you feel and just see where it goes! :) Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): You have to tell her how you feel. She is not married or otherwise engaged? Tell her and see how she responds, it will be awkward but if you two have been friends for as long as you say, that won't matter. You need to move forward, do NOT get stuck in a rut! She sounds like a great friend, maybe its time to show her the possibilities of what could be!! Good luck xoxoxo
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