A
male
age
36-40,
*ne_cool_guy
writes:Hello all, this situation has me going crazy and i don't know what to do anymore. When me and my girl started, she cheated on me with her ex b/f. This was all within two weeks of us agreeing to a mutual relationship. I did not find out that she had cheated on me but one day she started crying and she told me she could not live with heself. I tried to forgive her but i couldn't, now all she does is bother me call me and tell me that she loves me, sends me emails, songs you name it! She says that she did not know what she was doing and blah blah. I love her but I don't believe in her anymore so i have tried to push her away, but she still wont leave. The problem is that if she sticks around enough i'm probably going to end up with her again and i don't want to have the same problems or heart break. This whole situation has impacted me a lot in daily life and i don't feel as if i am the same person i was before. One would wonder why two weeks would hurt so much, but i've known her for a really long time and i had feelings for a really long time too. We were just far apart from each other so it was hard to be together.How can I forgive her or how do I tell her I just can't and have to move on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): "dude give her one more chance she loves you my girlfriend is probly getting laid rigt now and im mad too i dont know if i can forgive mine...but give yours one more chance if she blows it say bitch im not dealing with this anymore"
I'm sorry to hear that, but i guess you know how i feel. Good luck to you man, I just don't understand why people do stupid things and then expect us to to forgive them and treat them as if nothing ever happened.
A
male
reader, one_cool_guy +, writes (12 May 2007):
one_cool_guy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys, I am going to give my self a little bit of time. Its going to take a lot of effort to trust her again. I did found a letter in the middle of this mess (she gave me access to her email and she had a lot of junk in there she probably didn't think that i was going to check page by page) but i found a letter that she had written to her other ex boyfriend telling him that she was going to give him a "special treatment" and if he didn't agree she was never ever going talk to him again. Thats one of the reasons why I don't trust her she might even be a little way over her head. The more I think about it the more upset i get, but then what i don't understand is why does she keep on coming back. She hasn't been very good at demonstrating "her love for me" its very likely that she does not love me, and if thats so what does she want? Thats what i have been trying to figure out and i can't figure it out yet. Ohh and check this out, and her explanation for the
"special treatment" is that she was so over her head because she had been with her ex that she wrote that to her other ex because she was going crazy and did not know what to do, so she tried to relieve her pain.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): dude give her one more chance she loves you my girlfriend is probly getting laid rigt now and im mad too i dont know if i can forgive mine...but give yours one more chance if she blows it say bitch im not dealing with this anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2007): OK she cheated she's human,if you want her, you will have to let her sort out her emotions. If she's still seeing the ex, then smell the coffee son, she doesnt love you, she's still hung up on the ex! Maybe you should do the same to her and see how she feels, christ women are unbelievable, they cry and you want to take em back?? Forget it, she either gets her stuff togther or you get yourself another girl and tell her so!
She needs to start treating people right and you need to treat yourself right also!
Good Luck dude
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A
male
reader, one_cool_guy +, writes (5 May 2007):
one_cool_guy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello CD thanks for your answer, I gotta think this trough. But it sure helps to hear your opinion specially form a womans point of view. I'm just kinda sitting back and seeing what she does, I think that if she plays her cards right and she shows me that she can deal with this relationship I would take her back. Thanks again
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 Do you want to forgive her? You have three choices here.... forgive her and get back together, forgive her and don't get back together or don't forgive her and don't get back together. First of all you need to decide which of these three sounds the best to you. If it's the first you'll need to get back together but take things VERY slowly. It's totally okay if you don't want any physical contact but keep seeing each other and talking through things. If you decide on the second option tell her you want to forgive her but you're not ready yet so she needs to give you some space to get your head around it. If it's the third option that you choose then you can basically tell her you can't forgive her and that she has to get out of your life. Then ignore her. It sounds to me like you're somewhere between option 1 and 2 and only you can decide but don't be afraid to tell her to give you some space while you work it all out. She's being clingy because she feels bad but you have more of a right to feel bad than her so put yourself first.
CD
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