A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why can’t I get over this crush? This guy I’ve fancied for 3 years now, his done my head in. I’ve never had such deep feelings for someone before, this guy matches me banter wise, future hope, likes and he just feels right! We’ve spoke on and off for the last 2 2 and half years and my friends say is a (censored) I ask to meet up he ignores, he arranges to meet up then don’ reply to me for a while. (Yes his real not a catfish, I checked and stalked) his called me his online best friend and though his not lead me on in anyway, yes played a few games, I don’t care he feels like the one I’m meant to be with. My gut instinct is never wrong about things and I really feel he is the one I’m meant to be with... I’m not usually this invested in someone crushes usually last a couple months and I’m over it and no matter how much I try I can’t get over it. I had a friend talk to him to get the bad parts of him out but didn’t work he is literally mr perfect! I’ve analized pics and found ugly parts of him, pics and vids where his camp, spotted things where he don’t seem that bright, loads of negatives that should put me off but they don’t ??Now I think his seeing someone else and it feels like my soul is broken, I just want to get over this now, but can’t why am I in love with someone I’ve never met, why do I know him so well and I’ve never met him, what is his deal? What is it I can’t let go of?I did see a medium a few weeks back and they said this to me... I have strong day dreams/dreams that are very detailed... most of them will come true... Which leads me to believe that cause I see a relationship with him so vividly maybe that’s why I can’t get over him cause it will one day come true!
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best friend, crush, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2017):
 You are not in love with this man, you are in love with the idea off being coupled up with him. You have spoke online with him for so long now that the idea off him as become part off your life. He may not be cat fishing you, but he has no interest in you or meeting you in person. He probably likes to have online friends who he can talk to and who he can play games with. Please do not believe because a medium said that to you that it means he is going to be your future partner. You need to live in the real world or else you will get sucked up in to fantasy and will never find your perfect partner. I bet this online fascination with this man has stopped you meeting anyone this last couple off years. If he makes excuses not to meet you then he is not interested and you need to move on with your life for your own sake. He looks at you as a online friend not as a potential lover or even a friend in the real world. Your best bet would be to end the friendship and go out and meet people face to face.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (15 October 2017):
 Just wanted to add: you are not in love with the actual man. You are in love with the image you have built up in your head. There is a HUGE difference.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (15 October 2017):
Seriously, your "proof" this man is for you is based on some vague airy-fairy thing a medium said to you? Something which was so general, it could apply to anyone or anything? And your infallible gut instinct?
Firstly, you cannot be "in love" with someone you have just stalked and not even met. You are OBSESSED. There is a huge difference.
Yes, this man may be "Mr Perfect" (please!) on paper, but you would not be conducting your relationship on paper. You would be sharing day-to-day life with him.
If someone called me his "best friend on line", I would instantly suspect (a) he was not interested romantically (because calling someone a best friend is letting them down gently) and (b) he wanted to leave the friendship on line. This guy keeps evading meeting up with you and is now dating someone else. Let me make you a prediction here - and I am no "medium" - he may enjoy chatting to you on line but has no interest in taking your relationship onto any other level.
Your only way to get over this is to go cold turkey and cut all contact and stop stalking him before you land yourself in trouble and make him hate you. Just because YOU have decided he is "the one" does not mean he agrees. Let him go, give yourself time to get over the loss of your dreams, then find someone who is into you as much as you are into them. That is what you deserve.
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