A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship for almost 7 years, we broke up for over a year. During the year, I dated this guy for a couple of months, broke it off with him, called my ex of almost 7 years after a couple of months and he welcomed me with open arms. We were only supposed to hook up for one day, but I ended up staying with him for 2 weeks. From the time I arrived, I lied to him about having a relationship with someone else because I just didn't want him to know I had been with another man even though we weren't together. What I didn't realize is that all he wanted me to do was be honest and tell him, but because I lied many times about the particulars of the short affair looking him dead in his eyes I destroyed him after breaking down and telling him what he wanted to know. The little trust he had for me is gone. Now he thinks all the years we were together has been a lie. I never understood how much he really loved me until that moment and how much I took his love for granted. Is there anything I could do to salvage this relationship? Because now, my words mean nothing and I'm truly sorry for what I did to him. It was deceitful and selfish and the biggest mistake of my life
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 I think maybe a little time will heal this rift between you. When you are found out in a lie or volunteer to tell the truth the response from the other party alway depends on how much they love you. If they love you they will forgive you. I told many lies over all my relationships and some forgave me after a few days cooling off period, some a couple of weeks and some never forgave me. I have obviously analysed this and it is the ones who loved me the most that forgave. Once you have said you are sorry and have given your reasons the other party needs time to take it in and mull it all over. I understand why you did what you did and I think most people could understand too. He is angry, hurt and upset but when he calms down and thinks about it although he won't like the fact that you had a relationship with someone else he will see why you didn't tell him. I don't suppose this will make him feel any happier about it initially but after a little time he will begin to accept what happened and view it in a different light. Initially it is shock, horror and betrayal but these thoughts do abate and more positive thoughts about the relationship come back. I have always been on the receiving end of these lies and I have always got over it in the end as long as I truly believe the person is sorry and that they won't lie to me again. It will take time to build up his trust in you but if he really loves you he will forgive you. Since you have said your piece and apologized I would give him a bit of space to come to terms with it all and I would leave him alone for a few days before you contact him again. Obviously if the subject is raised in the interim keep on apologizing and saying you didn't tell him because you didn't want to hurt him. Apart from this there isn't much else you can do apart from wait and see what happens. I think he will forgive you. All the best,
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): Vow, my heart is honestly bleeding for you both. I understand that you are hurt, but I can also just try to imagine how he must feel. You got yourself in a very difficult situation and unfortunately, as so many times in life, regret comes to late.
I suggest you write a letter to him, pour your heart out, explain how deeply sorry you are for what happened, by trying to avoid hurting him you hurt him more then anything.
Then you will have to give this man time; he might forgive you and give you another chance, in which case you will have to understand that he will have issues with trust; it might take time to recover;
however, you have to be prepared that he might decide to move on; then you will have to respect his wish.
I hope that you will come to terms with what happened and that you will be able to avoid such mistakes in future.
Honesty is the best policy!
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A
female
reader, GuardianAngel +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Hi there I am your new Guardian Angel, When most people break up after being with someone for so long they usually go and find themselves someone else to look after them and they always usually get back with the one they left but not many of the people that I know tell the one they love that they have slept or been with someone else because they think it will hurt that person so I know what was going on in your head at the time. All you need to do to try and get your man back is talk to him and tell him how much he means to you and yhat you don't want to lose him and what you did you regret and tell him the only reason you didn't tell him was because you thought it would hurt him and that's not what you wanted to do and see if he understands why you didn't tell him.
Yours Sincerely
Guardian Angel
p.s if you need help with anything else or want to tell me how it went then write back Hope this helps Hunni xx
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